Feb 5, 2014

5 Tips for Raising Pious Kids

by Sabina Giado


Allah Subhaana Wa Ta’aala chooses to bless us with children. These blessings also come with new sources of anxiety.

Allah Subhaana Wa Ta’aala has always made clear that our children are one of our most important responsibilities.

The Prophet (sal Allaahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. The woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2409; Muslim, 1829)

The above Hadith clearly states that the man is the ‘shepherd’ of his family. The role of the shepherd is to guide his flock to greater pastures and protect it from the evils of predators. The woman, being ‘shepherd’ of her household is in charge not just of the physical upkeep of the house i.e. cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., but also the energy in the household. Is there an Islamic environment in the home? Are there Halal entertainment outlets available? Do the children get enough exercise and fruits and vegetables? Is there enough family time?

However, as big a responsibility as this is, Allah Subhaana Wa Ta’aala has given a clear pathway to raising good children.

1. Make constant du’a for their guidance

One of the most potent du’as in the Noble Qur’an for families is:

And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” (25,74) 

Insha Allah, if you ask Allah subhaana wa ta’aala for help, He will respond as He is Al Mujeeb (The Responder).

2. Move to good neighbourhoods with good Islamic schools 

The importance of an Islamic environment cannot be overstated. At a young age, children are likely to learn by imitation. If they see their teachers and other authority figures behaving with good character and practising their Deen, they are likely to have a favourable view of their faith and aim to emulate these adults when they grow up. However, if there is a clash between the principles practised at home and in school, the youngster is likely to grow up confused or even hating Islam, especially if he or she sees powerful figures maintaining their power through corrupt practices. 

3. Be involved in their education

As we all know, debates are raging across schools both in the East and the West about sex education. However, this is not the only topic of contention that a Muslim child might come across in school. Issues of race, gender and politics often result in heated debate in high school classrooms. If the teenager or pre-teen perceives their parents as sounding boards, they will be able to further discuss these issues. The parents will be able to consult Islamic sources and give a good summary of the Islamic view on gender and race equality. InshaAllah, our children will see from an early age that Islam was light years ahead of the West when it came to the emancipation of women and people of colour.

However, if we leave our kids to wade around in these sticky issues alone, they are likely to form their own conclusions from perhaps unscrupulous sources. It is better to guide our kids to the correct sources, which we have found during our own experience researching these issues.

This leads to another important point.

4. Be friends with your kids

Mashallah, children are born pure. More often than not, they can recognize fitnah (temptation or corruption) when they see it. However, they may not have the tools to deal with this fitnah. 

InshaAllah, they should be able to approach us with their misgivings and ask us how they should avoid temptation. If we treat them with disdain and judge them, we are heaping pain upon pain and making children feel worse than they already do. They are unlikely to ever be open with us again. However, if we are open with them, perhaps even sharing our own struggles, we might empower them with a toolbox for warding off Shaitan and his cronies.

5. Be righteous people

Children learn by imitation. If we practise our Deen and keep our hearts clean from diseases such as arrogance, stubbornness, anger, and stinginess, our children insha Allah will follow us on this path.

My dear sisters, please note that I am not a mother myself. I only hope that when my time comes, I can do the best I can with what I know inshaAllah. Any good in this article is from Allah Subhaana Wa Ta’aala and any harm is from Shaitan ar Rajeem. I sincerely pray for our Ummah’s forgiveness and guidance Ameen.

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please comment in the section below! 

Question 132214; Islam Q&A: http://islamqa.info/en/ref/132214/kids


Assalam alaykum,
You make some really good points. I've found that homeschooling is the best way to keep Islamic values and to keep the lines of communication as open as possible, in sha Allah. Allahu alim. Like you said, it's important to be friendly with your kids, of course remaining an authority figure as well. Jazak Allah khair for your beneficial article!

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