Nov 15, 2013

Don’t feel sorry to be sorry

by Nourin Ibrahim


A very easy word to utter is “sorry’’. It has the ability to heal broken hearts, forget the past, remove physical pain, wash away ego, dissolve anger and a whole lot of other advantages.

Then why is it so difficult for us to utter it when we know we have done something wrong?

A husband finds it very difficult to say sorry to his wife when he knows he hurt her feelings; sons or daughters shrug off when asked to apologize to their mother whom they have disobeyed; a brother does not say sorry to his sister when he has broken her favorite toy, and the list goes on.

In most cases, we find a third person forcing one to say sorry to the other. Only in very few cases does a person voluntarily say sorry. Have you ever given a thought why saying sorry is like a tedious job for all of us?

The main enemy of “sorry’’ is our own ego.

Ego is when you are wrapped in yourself to the extent that you become unable to see or hear what others around you are feeling. This is when you are in a dangerous situation.

A husband feels that he is the head of the family and the provider for his wife, which means he does not have to bother to say sorry to his wife when he has done something wrong. At the same time, the wife feels that she is doing so much for him and still he is hurting her by finding faults and not saying sorry for things.

We see friends who make an issue out of a small fight and finally lose the most precious friends in life just because they could not say a simple sorry and hug. Just imagine two friends who have been together for years and chatted with each other 24/7 now finding it difficult to open up, the reason is plain - ego…

I believe a parent should apologize to his/her kids if they have hurt them in any manner (that does not mean that you should say sorry to your kids after punishing them). If we punish them it is for their good and it is part of parenting, but when you feel you have ignored, teased, or hurt their feelings it is always better to say sorry which will make you more respectful in their eyes.

We usually hurt people surrounding us and who are very close to us. It can be our family or friends who love and care for us. There is nothing wrong or extraordinary in saying sorry or apologizing for our mistakes, after all she is your own mother, he is your own brother, your own kid, your own husband, your best friend…why shy away? 

Even when it is not our mistake, saying sorry to amend the situation is not a bad idea. For example, if a wife knows her husband is not going to say sorry after a fight, it is always advisable for the wife to approach him and apologize, which will not make the wife defeated in his eyes, but he will realize how selfish he has been.

Six Reasons why we should not feel sorry to be sorry…

*Saying sorry shows you care and do not want to lose that person in your life.

*It shows you are not just bothered about yourself, but can feel the emotion of the person you have hurt.

*Saying sorry makes you feel you are broad minded but remember the person needs a broader mind to forgive you.

*Saying sorry makes you realize you were wrong and will remind you not to make the same mistake again. You should not get used to making a mistake and saying sorry often which will have an adverse effect. It is like taking an antibiotic every time you fall sick and later your body stops reacting to it.

*Saying sorry will relieve a mental block and free your mind. You can tell yourself - I tried.

*Never delay to say sorry.

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below! 


Yes you're right, it's a small easy word to say. But why should we... As you said it would destroy the assaulters ego.. Imagine what the wife would think if I said that to my sisters, who have brought me up & fought for my happiness.
The omission of this deep meaningful word, has caused hatred, anger, frustration & destruction. But it won't be used, no matter who tells us to say it.

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