Sep 22, 2013


By Alawiya Abdalla

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter



It is close to midnight since my uncle and his son Osman left, and I still have not decided what my response is. On one hand I feel like telling them to go back where they came from, but on the other hand I feel like this IS my dad’s inheritance after all.

I do not understand why would my grandma insist on me marrying Osman? I mean when she visited, she would always tell me that she wishes I marry her nephew Osman and fix him but I used to always decline politely. So I figured that would never come up again.

I cannot tell my dad because he was so excited to see my uncle, and he actually kept saying that finally he has a family in this world that cared enough to ask about him. I heard him tell my mum that, whatever grudge he held against his brother had evaporated.
He does not know that his brother is only here for his own gain! What kind of world do we live Ya Allah? He knew my dad is in a wheelchair all those years ago and he never bothered to ask for him, or send him money for treatment.
He does not know how my dad suffers daily because he cannot even leave the house. Me and my mum offer to take down his wheelchair as we live on the third floor, but his pride stops him. So he is stuck watching the world from the balcony maskeen, if I get that £500,000 for him, we can move from here to a nicer and posher area in a villa even. We would be able to make the house wheelchair friendly, so my dad can do everything himself instead of relying on me and my mum.

Do not get me wrong I love helping him, but every time I see the embarrassed look on him I feel sad for him. So basically this money would be a life saver to us.
However, I cannot shake the feeling that it is just SO wrong. I always dreamt that I would marry someone I love, and that he would share my values in life and my love for my religion not this arrogant person that was here hours ago!

I mean the LOOK on his face when he saw me! What was that about? What is it got to do with him? Subhanallah and he is Muslim! If I marry him and move to England how would the NON Muslims react to me then?
All these questions are going through my head at the moment. If I move to London, I would be able to get a job that pays well so even my mum would not have to go to work anymore.

I am going to weigh the pros and cons of this life changing decision before I give them my final word. Right now I will pray Istikhara and I will see how I feel in the morning.


“A ninja??? dad do you know how bad this is gonna look?? I’d be MORTIFIED to walk anywhere with her” Osman tells his dad as soon as they enter the hotel room.
“STOP saying ninja!! She wears a niqab, so? What’s the big deal??”, replies Khalifa to his son’s outburst.
“Dad, how can I show my face to people if I married her? All my friends will mock me for it. What about mum ha?”, he reminds me.
“What about her?? She’s just gonna have to deal with it. You’re just gonna have to pretend that you’re a changed man and all that hoopla”, he suggests.
“You know what dad. I was happy when you suggested that nothing has to happen between us as a married couple. PHEW good thinking!”, I tell him.
“I didn't suggest that for you! I did it for her. I feel like crap already, and I want her to get out of this with her head held high and not feeling used by you”, says my dad.
“Whatever! I know you don’t care about me and all that, so it’s fine” I answer him feeling rejected by his comment.
“I don’t care about you?? So you think I'm doing this for myself?? Walah you and your mother are ungrateful. You don’t know half of what’s going on with my life. All you two care about is yourselves”, he says in anger.
“Because I learnt from you innit? All you care about is money money and guess what MORE money”, I tell him the facts that he’s afraid to admit.
“This conversation is over!”, he yells at me.
“FINE! I just want my share and I’ll be out of your life for good!”, I yell back.
“Do what you wish son. I have lost interest in your little tantrums”.

We end the conversation and we sit silently just staring at the wall, until I decide I need to get out of here and hit the bars in Egypt boy. I am gonna make myself forget about everything in this world, maybe get some Egyptian chick too.


I just had a fight with my son, and as usual instead of apologizing to me he will come back wasted. To be honest, it is my own fault he turned out this way.
From a young age I wanted to take him under my wings and teach him everything I know in life, but his mum would not let me.
If I wanted to spend time with my son, she would suggest that instead of wasting my time I should be having meetings or something to generate more money!
At first I fought with her, but as the nagging went on I stopped trying. I thought to myself what harm could my lack of presence in my son’s life do?
Never in a million years have I wished this! The boy is beyond repair. Looking at Mohamed’s daughter Shaimaa, I realized how messed up my son is.

She is the most polite and intelligent girl I have ever seen in a long time Mashallah. And seeing Mohamed my brother in a wheelchair was really tough too, I mean whatever is gone in our lives is something and seeing my brother like that is something else man!
I feel so sorry for him, and offering help right now would look like such a hypocrisy.

When Shaimaa told me that she and her mum have been taking care of my brother all these years, it made me look so small.

She is only 18 and instead of running away, she has been their rock. What an amazing girl Mashallah! I just hope that she agrees to the marriage, because there is nothing left for me but money right now. It is kind of my security blanket, my only friend!

“Ouch!” I shout while holding my left arm, which has been hurting for quite sometime now! Very odd indeed! I better get myself checked out when I get back to England.


Ok, I saw a weird dream last night and I think I made my decision. I saw my grandma and she was holding my hand, and taking me to a house and pointing to Osman saying -
“That’s your husband Shaimaa”, she says while taking my face in her hands.
And I look towards him and I see him covered in blood asking for my help! I got freaked out and I jumped out of my bed and recited Aayat al-Kursi, and I could not go back to sleep after that.

I know this looks like a nightmare, but somehow I felt that I am needed in my uncle’s house? I felt at peace with my decision……….
I am going to say yes to my uncle……….. I am going to marry Osman and get the financial help that my family so desperately need………even though leaving them would be the hardest thing in the world, but I gotta go and find a way to help my mum and dad and my brother Amr…….

I am going to England, and I am certain that Allah will guide me to the right path Inshallah, Ameen.

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below! :)


Love Shaima and the brothers story is soo realistic .... i can not wait for the next chapter...

Post a Comment