Short Story: MY WIFE IS A NINJA CHAPTER 6 ~ Habibi Halaqas

Sep 15, 2013

Short Story: MY WIFE IS A NINJA CHAPTER 6

9:00 AM farh 2 comments

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Bismillah

Shaimaa

It has been a few days since I got fired from my job and I have not told my parents yet! Every time I try and open my mouth, I see their hopeful faces and my tongue gets stuck. I just cannot do it! I get out of the house everyday and go to the mosque to kill time before I go back home. I know I cannot hide it forever, but I just need some time to figure out a plan.

I went out to look for work as soon as I got fired, but nobody is willing to give me a chance wearing a Niqab :( I cannot just give up wearing it for a bunch of ignorants, I WILL NOT.

I will pray for Allah to show me a way out of this. My mum suffers from osteoporosis and making her work full time is out of the question.

Ya Allah help me find a way to provide for my family who have been nothing but good to me.

I was deep in my Duaa when I heard a knock on our door. I was a bit surprised because we do not get that many visitors, apart from our neighbour who visits my mum daily but she left about an hour ago as usual. I wonder who this could be?

Osman

I am standing outside this HIDEOUS door waiting to meet the girl I am about to marry, and I say that in confidence now because LOOK AT THIS OLD DOOR! Why would she refuse? So pardon me when I say EEEEUGGHHH!!

I made my dad knock because I did not want to catch any germs from this door. This trip has been nothing but annoying so far.

As soon as we landed in the airport, I was hit by pollution. I think I need a mask and I am not even lying! I thought going to Egypt would be soooo cool. I thought we were going to go to Sharm El Sheikh or something, but noooo we are going to this filthy FILTHY place to meet her!

I mean how poor can someone be? I swear I used to think Tottenham, Hackney and Leyton were eeuugghhh but this place wins hands down bro.

When the driver dropped us, I was SURROUNDED with people begging for money! And all I was thinking about was STEP AWAY FROM THE ARMANI SUIT PEOPLE!

Anyway I keep reminding myself of the £100.000, I got a lot from my dad, do not get me wrong but this is an offer I could not refuse.

Imagine how the chicks will react when they know I have that amount! So I will just grin and bear the pollution, the hideous door and the people.

I just hope this Shaimaa person is HOT MAN, I mean she better be otherwise I will be stucked with her FOR A YEAR! The thought is killing me here!

We were waiting for someone to open when A SPIDER CAME DOWN FROM THE CEILING AND LANDED IN FRONT OF MY FACE! I have to say I screamed.

THE ONE THING that scares me is Spiders! It is the legs, it makes my whole body shudder. And now I am standing here screaming like a girl because of it!

At that moment the door opens and we are greeted by a boy, who looks about nine years old.

“Asalamu Alykum son, I'm your uncle Khalifa. Is your dad here?”, asks my dad.

The boy does not reply and he runs back inside, but moments later a man in a very old looking wheelchair comes to the door. I guess that is my uncle?

“KHALIFA MY BROTHER? IS THIS REALLY YOU STANDING HERE IN FRONT OF ME?”, asks my uncle feeling very emotional and surprised at our impromptu visit.

“Yes Mohamed, it really is me”, replies my dad in a choked up voice that I see for the first time in ages.

“Come in, come in. SARA tell Shaimaa to go and buy some Gateaux from the bakery shop around the corner”, he tells his wife.

“No brother, please don’t bother yourself. There’s no need for all that”. My dad tries to stop them from making a big fuss because he can see that they obviously cannot afford it.

“Nonsense!. SHAIMAA, come and say Salam to your uncle”, yells my uncle to my future wife YIPEEEEEEE.

It takes a few minutes for my hopefully VERY SEXY wife to come and greet us, and now the door is opening…..My heart will go on is playing in my head and HERE SHE IS MY………………

NINJA? WHOA WHOA WHOA WAIT A MINUTE! Maybe that is Shaimaa’s friend?
NOPE NOPE, the ninja is coming to greet us. HEEEELLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Shaimaa

Apparantley MY UNCLE IS HERE? What is that about! All of a sudden he remembers he has a brother? What is going on here?

To make it worse my dad wants me to go and buy a Gateaux! I am trying to save money until I find a job. But I cannot break my dad’s word, so I put on my niqab and I go to greet him and buy the cake.

When I walk out of my room, I see two people sitting on the sofa next to my dad. I guess he brought his son with him? I look at them both and it feels like they just saw a ghost from the look of shock on their faces!

Whatever! I say my Salams and I was about to go, when my uncle stops me.

“Shaimaa, please don’t bother yourself daughter. Mohamed, tea will do walahi”. He pleads with my dad.

“Ok then if you insist”, replies my dad.

As I was about to get up, my uncle asks me to sit down to talk to me about something.

“Mohamed, I'm asking for Shaimaa’s hand in marriage for my son Osman”. starts my uncle and pointing towards the man who looks like he has seen a ghost.

“Ha? where did this come from? I'm sorry I mean this is just so sudden!”, wonders my dad.

“No sudden or anything Mohamed. I was looking for a good girl for my son for ages, and who is better suited to him that a good daughter like Shaimaa Mashallah”, explains my uncle and looking towards the ghost, I mean Osman!

“I’d be honoured brother, but the decision lies with Shaimaa”, says my dad looking towards me in amazement.

I am feeling very suspicious about this whole thing. My grandma used to always tell me that my uncle always has an agenda before he speaks, so I ask my dad to be alone with my uncle and Mr I am about to die from the shock.

My dad goes to his room, and my mum brings the tea to us and excuses herself to be with my dad. I do not say anything and I just sit here staring at them from behind my niqab.

“Dad, why is she staring at us like that?? Dad she’s not blinking like when my mum gets angry”, says “my suitor”.

“Ozzy!! It’s the way you are reacting to her. Look at yourself behaving like a woman who saw a ghost”, my uncle replies to his son obviously thinking that I do not speak English so I do not understand what they are saying.

“Nah man, forget this. I ain't marrying a ninja man, I thought she was gonna be like HOT and not a ninja!”, says Osman.

“You know ninja is the same word in Arabic, so STOP embarrassing me”, my uncle tells his son quietly.

“I don’t want this money anymore. You can keep all the inheritance money, I don’t give a flying…..” Osman tells his dad before he gets to finish the swear word he was about to say.

“DON’T SWEAR! These people are respectful not like you”, he says and getting frustrated by his son’s lack of interest in me.

“Shaimaa habibti, you’re not saying much. Is there anything you wanna ask me?”, my uncle asks me in Arabic.

“No, I pretty much get it now”, I answer in an American accent.

They both look at each other in shock, and they seem embarrassed by their conversation.

“Ok look. The story is my mother, your grand mother left us an inheritance of £1 million pounds split into half between me and my brother”, he starts explaining.

“But the only way to get it, is for my son to marry you for a year and everyone goes their separate ways”, he continues.

“I know it sounds so materialistic to you daughter, but we really need it and from the looks of things here. I feel that this money will make a big difference to your family too right?”, he asks me with eyes that is almost pleading for me to say yes.

“I don’t know what to say to be honest uncle. You show up after all these years, and my dad feels happier for the first time in a while. I do not wanna crush his heart and tell him that his brother is only interested in a business deal with his daughter”, I reply.

“I know I'm a horrible person. But I'm desperate, please consider it. I mean the marriage could be a piece of paper, you don’t have to do anything with this boy”, he pleads.

“Yeah, BELIEVE ME you don’t have to feel obliged I give up my rights honestly”, adds Osman in a matter of fact way, as the thought of marrying me looks like it’s terrifying him A LOT.

“I need to think this through. You will get my answer tomorrow Inshallah, after I pray Istikhara”, I give them an answer.

“Ok, we will come back again to get the response from you. But please put your dad into your consideration. imagine what £500.000 could do for all of you”, my uncle reminds me of the benefit of this deal.

“Me and my mum have been taking care of my dad all this time, so we know what’s best for my dad, uncle, not trying to be rude or anything”, I remind him.

“Of course”, he says.

“Let’s act normal around my dad, so he won’t find out the real reason behind this visit. Like I said before, he doesn't need any heartbreak”, I tell them.

“Sure” They both say in unison.

So I leave the room, and go to get my dad to come back and spend time with his brother. I go back to my room, and sit there wondering what I should do?

What would YOU DO???

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