Apr 2, 2012

Eliminating Doubts From Our Lives Part 1

By M


I am certain. A good feeling, that certainty. Certainty is a place unshakeable, a place where we can smile to ourselves and hold our heads up high, and know that something good is set in stone. Wanna be it? 

I think we all experience despair, loss, suffering, a plan gone terribly wrong – the one that was to irrevocably change our lives for the better, bring crowds of people to applaud us, celebrations permeating the air, the elated cries of victory, the recognition of who we are... all this as we are elevated onto the shoulders of supporters – while we beam in ecstatic happiness, marching forward to our arrival into recognition and power, claiming our hypothetical throne....like in the movies. 

But all we really got out of the hard work we invested was the figurative t-shirt, and an overwhelming feeling of our emotional ship sinking, catapulting us into the realm of should haves until we doubt just about every move forward, backward, sideward, within us and without. 

Sometimes a doubtful idea or word can whir around in our minds like a blender, until the mush of uncertainty blocks the clarity of our original thought. 

Doubt can also be something constructive in our lives though, like when it proves to keep us away from that which we are unsure of, which may cause harm or set us on a path we don’t want to finish. 

So how do we try to eliminate harmful doubt? How do we eliminate doubt in our own capability once we’ve endured too many knocks that we just want to play it safe now, leave the living for others so we can let our wounds heal 700 times over and stay on the same level playing field for, who knows, ever? How do we eliminate doubting those who we care about once we are faced with a doubtful idea regarding them. How do we know what to do when we doubt whether something is right or wrong? 

Just so you know human beings, we really are just human beings and it’s easy to let ourselves dwell into the dark depths of insane doubt, and with the same ease shift focus. 

The Light of Knowledge 
Knowledge is not referred to as light for no apparent reason. Light eliminates darkness, allows us to see truth, and allows us to feel the warm glow of certainty. 

So educate yourself! Seek knowledge. It takes the doubt away. 

Whatever the problem before you is, fix it buy researching, reading, asking a good someone who knows about the subject that vexes you. 

If its mushrooms, toadstools, children’s sugar rushes, why the sky is blue, how to work out the net worth of your business, what to look for in a true friend, when that sale is, how to fry an egg or how to perform salaat excellently, find out. 

Knowledge smashes ignorance, and empowers you. 

I must tell you that on a recent Islamic retreat, the notion of the light of knowledge was enforced. The quest for Knowledge of our deen is always met by happiness. If you can love yourself enough to allow yourself to feel sincerely the power of truth, you will find peace in its practice, and you will find a smile in your heart. This sometimes feels like a challenge amidst our daily activities, or mindsets, but no-one ever complained when they made the time to make themselves happy. 

Eliminate Doubting a Person 
Basic rule: if a nasty piece of a person, a person who has proved really rude, mean, and an avid gossiper decides to come over and invade your positive clear mind space... ignore what they say about others to you. 

A mean person, or a person who proves callous with people’s feelings rarely has good intentions in regards to ‘breaking news’ about others. Chances are, if they do that to others they’ll do it to you. 

If it’s something that pertains to you, in regards to a relationship, work wise or personal, find out what the truth is. If it’s not something that pertains to you, rid yourself of unnecessary negativity and ignore... let yourself get the reward of preserving a person’s reputation, and privacy by being well mannered and minding your own beeswax. 

O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done, regretful. (Surah Al-Hujurat 49:6) 

(In the noble Quran [i] this ayah is translated as: O you who believe! If a Fasiq (liar-evil person) comes to you with news, verify it, lest you should harm people in ignorance, and afterwards you become regretful for what you have done.) 

Listen to the next ayah. It highlights keeping a positive mindset, and preventing yourself from harming others. I’m sure we all would love someone to treat us with kindness and to respect our privacy. So let’s try start the trend if it’s not already active! 

O you, who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful. 

The severity of trying to harm another has some serious consequences. The following hadith emphasises this: 

Narrated Hudhaifa RadiAllahu anhu: I heard the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) saying, "A Qattat will not enter Paradise." 

(Noble Quran explanation of a Qattat: a person who conveys disagreeable, false information from one person to another with the intention of causing harm and enmity between them) 

Everything said between Muslims in conversation is considered sacred and in confidence. 

Picture this scenario. Person A talks to Person B, and says something quite horrible about person C. B and C are really close, and B is pretty upset about this. Should B tell C? 

If it causes harm and can’t be fixed, don’t do it!!! 

Conveying that negative statement, even if it be true, is a form of backbiting. Person A may regret and be remorseful over what was said a few seconds after it was said, or a day from now, or even a while after, and the result just causes ‘bad blood ’ between people. 

Hold back. Save your friends feelings from being hurt, or your husband or colleague, unless it be necessary to prevent something worse from occurring. Sometimes keeping it to yourself, just saves a loved one heartache. Consider it ‘taking one for the friendship team’. 

[i] the noble Quran in the English language, translated by Dr Muhammad Taqi-ud-Din al-Hilali and Dr Muhammad Muhsin Khan

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below! :)


JazakAllah khayr for this post, dear sister. I absolutely LOVED it, the way in which it was written, the topic; everything. It's an issue that I've been trying to instill in myself as a trait, insha'Allah. SubhaanAllah, I've noticed that Allah swt brings in the shape of an article, lecture or conversation, the very subject/topic that has made it's way into my notice, as something that I need to learn more about/educate myself on, and inculcate. The reinforcement of that choice, in such a timely fashion, can only be a Light sent by the very Divine of forces, Alhumdulillah. Alas, your article has been the medium through which he has been reinforcing the hadith of verifying the source of the matter lest someone we think otherwise of, is actually better than us. I ofc, said that in my own words, mixing up the idea in one sentence. Insha'Allah, you understand what I mean, being the author of the post and all. May Allah swt bless you for sharing your thoughts in such a beautiful narration. May He Guide us all to His Knowledge, Light, and Shade - Ameen!

BarakAllah feekum...may Allah Ta'ala increase you in your endeavours for His Good Pleasure and bless you with His Nearness...ameen!


Very interesting and timely piece for me. 

"I am certain. A good feeling, that certainty. Certainty is a place
unshakeable, a place where we can smile to ourselves and hold our heads
up high, and know that something good is set in stone. Wanna be it?"


The doubt subject needs more info and guidance from Qur'an
& Hadith. It would be more helpful to those in serious relationship with their self and Allah. It started out good than went to another completely different scenario. Salam alaikum


hey everyone

thank you for the heartwarming comments
@Ahumblevoice Ameen Ameen Ameen. really touched my heart to read your comment, sister Hayaah. If you're not writing for HH yet, you should be.
@Zainab Fida Ahsan Ameen Ameen Ameen. May Allah bless you with the same dear Zainab, and whatever brings a smile to your heart.
@faith Wa alaykum salaam. :) May you be it at every junction, and step of your life!!
@Fhanhaz Wa alaykum salaam. thanks for your feedback sister :)
will be interesting to explore that

Salamalaykum Sister Muaaza!

Uncanny that you should ask me that :) I've actually become a part of HH, yet have to sort out how to begin. At the time of acceptance, I had to travel for an extended period of time away from home - thus it's been put on hold until I get things back in order, insha'Allah. I look forward to it, when the time comes.

~ Lots of duas...


I was wondering where you were going to go with this subject and I was surprised that you said the answer was knowledge, yet this could be the only answer. I loved the way you mentioned light is knowledge I never saw it in this way before, although it is mentioned again and again. Mashallah well done for such an 'illuminating' subject, very well written and easy to digest.                                                                             P.s. I am curious to know more about your retreat sounds wonderful.

Masha allah nice topic chosen sister. I get demoralized too with self doubts alot of times and in judging friends at work I used to depend on other people's opinion Your article gave lot of answers that KNOWLEDGE is the solution to self doubts.. May Allah bless all the women with good knowledge so that we can impart this in our children. Insha allah ameen!

@Fehminak Ameen. the topic was given to me by Habibi Halaqas. :) I agree, good choice.
@Scent Wslm, Thank you. the retreat was wonderful. Speaker was Dr Haifaa Younis, who does these retreats regularly in many countries. A weekend spiritual retreat, structured with classes based on a specific topic, discussions,group work, and time to contemplate. Also the venues are beautiful, this particular one was built around a river, sort of in touch with nature.
read more about her at:

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