Jan 17, 2012

Chill Out ! For the Sake of Allah

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by Bint Ali

In this fast paced world we live in, we often feel frustrated, tense, or stressed - perhaps all at once, thus bringing us to a near meltdown. Too often, and rather unfortunately, we take it out on whoever happens to be closest to us at the time. Perhaps it is illness that makes us feel irritated by everything, or a bad result on an exam we studied extra hard for, that puts us in a bad mood.

Deadlines draw closer and we are pushed to the edge. We begin to feel entitled to "snap"; to say a harsh word, to be selfish, careless, or worse. Nobody feels that more than the people around us who bear the brunt of our bubbling emotions. It is therefore essential that we learn to control our emotions before they lead us to hurt those around us.

A stressed out mother might overreact to her young child spilling juice on the floor, by way of insult. "You are SO stupid!,” she shouts. For a brief second, her anger is alleviated by yelling, but what is the child left with? How 'brief' is the pain of a child who has just been insulted by the one person he thought loved him and his clumsiness?

How long does the poor co-worker remember the words of his persistently annoyed boss? "You're pathetic, you're lucky I hired you!"

How many men dread a certain time of the month, when his wife will hate him, love him, cry and shout - all in a matter of minutes!

One needs only to reflect on the words and character of our beloved Prophet Muhammad, sal Allahu alayhi wa salaam, to understand the way of the believer when it comes to how one should deal with rising emotions:

Narrated Abu Huraira radiy Allahu anhu: Allah's Apostle said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger." ... (Sahih al-Bukhari)

This Hadith refers to anger, although it can be applied to stress, frustration, grief, annoyance, PMS - almost anytime your emotions need to be kept in check. Check yourself before you wreck yourself!

When you're feeling out of sorts, and feel likely to take it out on the innocent bystanders in your life, remember the way to take a Sunnah "chill pill":

Narrated Atiyyah as-Sa'di, radiy Allahu anhu: AbuWa'il al-Qass said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and performed ablution, and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Apostle of Allah sal Allahu alayhi wasalaam as saying: Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution. (Sunan Abu Dawood)
Water is known for its refreshing and cooling effect on the body, and in this hadith we learn that water is also excellent for extinguishing the flames of anger. Allahu Akbar!

Sometimes, it is not easy to excuse ourselves and make wudu, but we can still follow the sunnah by sitting if we're standing, or lying down if sitting doesn't work.

Remember the four Rs:
  • Recognize your emotions before they take over, and take your "Sunnah chill-pill" (as described above), starting by seeking refuge in Allah subhanahu wa ta'Aala. 
  • Remind yourself that your stress is temporary, but the effects of your ill-tempered words can last much longer. They can ruin a friendship or cause tension in the household. 
  • Remove yourself temporarily from a stressful environment if you start to feel overwhelmed.
  • Relax by remembering Allah subhanahu wa ta'Aala - always!
By taking steps to keep our emotions in check, we can hope to be included in the group of believers Allah subhanahu wa at 'Alaa describes in the Quran:

Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good; (3:134)

  • When you're feeling stressed and feel you want to snap, Google “tropical rainforest” or “green garden,” or whatever get-away you'd love to escape to. Remember, Jannah is more beautiful than whatever you see and imagine! 
  • Open the Quran, and read to your heart’s content. A sister who was depressed and far from her family, once told me how she dealt with her loneliness: “I run to the Quran and read.” Run to Allah – He knows your problems, and He can help. 
  • Have mercy on those around you – particularly those who have nothing to do with your stress. Take it easy on them, so Allah will take it easy on you. 
  • Remember this life is short, the stress and problems will eventually end, but our deeds will remain.


I enjoyed reading this. Appropriate reminder for myself.

Jazak Allahu Khair for this beautiful reminder. This post was written so well, I felt relaxed just reading it. From my own experiences I know that a believer really does find solace in the remembrance of his Lord. I hope we all put these tips to use and exercise more Sabr.
As salaamu alaikum,

Umm Qamar (www.ummqamarblogs.wordpress.com)

Alhumdulilah! This is very inspiring and helpful. With so many things upon all on a daily bases.
I will follow this and send to my family and friend s insha Allah (swt) they will be use the info to.

JazakAllah khayran for reading sisters. It can be hard to implement, but we can get there inshaAallah, to a point where anger is no more than a breeze that passes over us. Subtle, and gone on moments. May Allah help us inshaAllah, Amiin. More love, less anger!!

-Bint Ali

Asslm, jazakillah sis this is very important and useful topic in which if the right precautions are taken we will have a wonderful and beautiful world. Thanks for this great enlightment. May Allah subahaanahu wata'ala reward you with al-Jannatul Firdausi.

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