Sep 18, 2009

"Marriage"..........How's yours?

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table.. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.


The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!


I've read something like this before, but I didn't realize the woman dies at the end! Honestly the little things really do matter in a marriage. I don't need jewelry, my husband bringing me food I like without me asking makes me smile so much. My husband noticing when I put earrings on and do my hair only to tease me makes me blush. Life gets so busy; we have children, maybe work different schedules and that can take a toll on a marriage. We get tired, argue over such small things and that is when a marriage can fall apart. Even couples who seem perfect have their flaws. Men and women must work hard and always continue to work. When one stops that is when the trouble begins.

Really touchy and meaningful,,, one of the things i fear so how to avoid the routine that might ruin the marriage,,, with time couples get used to each other and leave their emotions behind

I wonder why the husband opted for divorce when in Islam he could have married the other woman and still keep the first! Still, I think the lesson we get from this is NOT TO LET THE SIMPLE THINGS GO BY... to appreciate what our spouses mean for us and treat each day like the first... you never know if it will in fact be the last!


This makes me feel depressed :-/

I read this story before and in that version she didn't die. This is extremely disturbing :| Can you change the ending? :(

Its a really depressing story. I was hoping for a happy ending and almost cried imagining the scene. We don't appreciate the little things that make our lives happy and concentrate upon the negative things. We should be thankful to Allah for blessing us with His mercy and giving us a loving and caring companion and should strive to make our marriage a happy one by appreciating and acknowledging the little things that our partner does. Be that noticing that you have worn some earings and complimenting on that or like in my case when my husband smiles at me for no reason i feel happiness fill my heart. If we stop appreciating then marriage becomes a chore.

Oh, what a sad but still beautiful story! I hope you do not mind that I post this on my blog! Thank you so much for this story!

subhanAllah a beautiful story!! its indeed sad that we hav stoped valuing our relations, we take relations for granted and tats da reason y we find soo many brken relations now a days...i wud lik to post tis to my blog as well:) will surely giv CREDIT to ur blog:)

That's so sad, this makes you realize how important the people in our lives are.

Anonymous: yes Islam allows to marry more than one, but with condition. You cannot just marry another one just because your marriage is in trouble. You need to work on the marriage no matter if it is a first, second, third or fourth. The problem will happen again if you don't identify the issues with the marriage.

very very nice article mashallah!!

a very sad story with an important meaning. as soon as couples become parents they forget to spend time together like they used to and share those intimate moments that really holds their relationship together

sad but very nice example for couples to understand ur realation with ur partner as when thier are ALIVE!!!!!!!!! thats all i can say?

Awww soooooo sad and tragic ... teaches a good lesson at the same time ....

A very good story indeed..with wonderful moral..value the existing relation and try to to make it as wonderful and as successful as possible rather than going for another relation... lesson for today's generation...

i was in tears wen i was readin this article.its very touchin n true. Y we miss dat feelin of luv n gesture we use to hve wen we r newly married .i also miss dat sme feelin can u plz guide me n tel me wat to do now. i feel after my 3yrs of marriage dat im livin wid a stranger its nt dat the perso i married n at thesme point i think i hve also changd a lot.I knw lve changes wid tym n iz damm buzy wid kidz n other responsibilities.I knw at the end of the day we both r very tired n but we still argue at stupid things which has pratically no value.Can u guz help me I dnt want my weddin to fall apart bcoz couple of tyms he said dat nw he dnt want me.I cant jus back off lyk this i want to really change my lyf I really want to bring dat luv n care n respect.Im nt sayin dat i dnt hve ne flaw in me but i want my marriage to workout.I cant expect frm my better half bcoz he says im only the defaulter.i dnt knw may b he is ....but I want to change n bring that happiness n luv as many tyms he said he want remarry.I m really very depressed n dnt knw even wat to do .

I will b grateful if u guz help me out.May Allah shower His blessings for showin me the way.

Dear Anonymous, the last comment above me... please visit, Inshaa'Allah, you will find it of benefit! May Allah bless you in your marriage! Ameen.

if you are lucky enough to have someone who cares for you dont let them go...I think my marriage is so bad right now but i have a baby and i cant give it up. i am so heartbroken its painful how your spouse can see everything but you.

Salams,This is 2Annonymous above who has problms in her marriage.Im nt an expert but felt so sorry 4u.As muslim women our marriage and husband should be the most imp thing in our lives,not even kids should come between them.Just trust in Allah,Pray and make dua 2gether,thats v imp.After all it's Allah who puts this amazing love and mercy between our hearts.May Allah bless u both and keep ur love strong.Salams

This really makes me cry..

very sad story indeed, but very true. What the wife did was absolutly correct, and she was hurting so much from him asking for divorce that she could not eat, got sick, and eventually passed. May this teach all human beings with Allah SWT hands reaching to us to be together. That marriage is a sacred institute, not to play with others heart. Its not a game! It is till death due us part. Salams

SubhanAllah, very sad :( made me cry! Oh Allah dont let me and my marrige ever end up like this! Oh Allah Bless My Muslimas and myself who strive to be good wives in the light of the Quran and Sunnah!! Ameen

So sad! Is this a true story? Did she really die?

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