UPCOMING WEBINAR.

Habibi Halaqas is proud to bring you webinars on various topics that are relevant to your life. Click here to see what our next webinar is going to be on!

WEBINAR RECORDINGS. Listen to our archives.

Listen to our past webinars on topics such as niqab, jealousy, hijab, Muslim woman leadership, Qur'an, marriage, finding a spouse, fiqh of menstruation, beauty and more!

Donate to Habibi Halaqas!

Please donate to Habibi Halaqas so sisters around the world can continue to benefit from it, in sha Allah.

Download Islamic wallpapers, cards and E-books.

A collection of beneficial books, videos, picture reminders and more!

Jul 11, 2015

Ramadan Diaries: Training Of The Psyche (Nafs)

Bimillah

The human body is simply a capsule that contains our soul and it will rot away in the ground once we are buried after death. The real deal is the soul and the psyche (nafs) is the foundation that it is made of. It comprises of our intentions, emotions, and attitudes and commands the human body. In my article Train The Bull That Satan Rides for Habibi Halaqas Self-Esteem Series, I explained how an untamed nafs is like a raging bull that is a threat to everything and everyone around it. Satan rides this bull and works through our psyche to destroy our present and Hereafter. Ramadan is one of the buttons on our remote control that can help restrain this bull and tame it. It is a month of abstinence from not just food, water, and sexual desires, but also from any malicious or wrongful intention that is provoked by Satan. 

Understanding The Psyche during Ramadan

We need to read the instruction manual of our nafs in order to tame it. It is human to be visited by wrong intentions. That is a test of character from Allah and a poking from Satan who is trying to ruin our act. Satan acts through the inciting nafs (nafs-i-ammara) which lures you into evil doings. During the state of fasting, in order to prevent the fast from going void, the opportunity is best to identify wrong intentions. They could be as simple as the need to gossip at an Iftar party, show off charity measures, or hurt people's feelings. The minute you commit those acts, the fast is void. 

Switching On The Training Mode

The Prophet said: 

"Do not invoke Allah's curse, Allah's anger, or Hell." Sunan Abi Dawud 4906
Become your own critic during Ramadan and correct yourself. The self-accusing nafs (nafs-i-lawwama) is going to help you disengage from anything and everything that can help Satan win over you. You need to develop a conscious thought that is going to judge each intention that springs up in your heart. Then, your mind will evaluate it; in fear of Allah, and decide whether you will commit. An act or not. So if you are tempted to lie you will re-think! You will consciously remind yourself that Allah is watching and there are consequences. Training is not easy because the glitz and glamour of the world and material life is powerfully blinding. When you hear an upscale music beat you may want to tap your feet and roll out of control, when your mother inquires where you are and wants work done you may want to lie, and a slightest argument may ignite your temper and you may verbally or physically harm someone.  

Ramadan For Life

The correct, pious, and spiritual lifestyle developed during Ramadan should be continued for life. The pleasing nafs nafs-i-mardiyya) should be gauged to do good and nothing but good to others and yourself. The same level of fear, as that experienced during Ramadan, should be realized throughout life.

Have a blessed Ramadan.

Jul 10, 2015

Got Ramadan Blues?


By Nur 


Bismillah

This year by the permission of Allah, Ramadan reach us during the warmest times of the year, the time where that ice cream sundae or frozen yogurt looks delightful, the time where the warm summer sun will be shinning through our windows, the time where we have more fans in the house then ever before. During such a time not only is it exceedingly warm and sunny, the days can last up to 18 hours (that’s more than half the day) as human beings we can become weak at such a time, and may lack motivation to continue Ramadan exceeding in good deeds. So here are some benefits you cannot afford to miss out on. If you ever have the “Ramadan Blues” do not be sad, review these precious rewards and benefits we have been guaranteed by Allah and don’t give up!

1. Gain the reward of multiple fasts!
If you are the one in your house who will be cooking the food for your family during Ramadan, do not grieve, you’re just gaining an ample amount of ajr.

Zayd ibn Khaalid AlJuhanee narrates that the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said: 

"Whoever gives a fasting person (food) to break his or her fast, he (the one providing the food) will get the reward equivalent to the (fasting person’s) reward, without diminishing anything from the reward of the (fasting person)." 


2. Enter the VIP gate in Jannah: Al-Rayyan 
The Prophet Muhammad (Sallalahu Alayhi Wa Salam) said: 
“ In Paradise there is a gate called al-Rayyaan, through those who fast will enter, and no one will enter it except them; when they have entered it will be locked, and no-one else will enter through it.”(Al-Bukhaari, Fath, no. 1797). 

3. Have your previous sins forgiven!
The Prophet Muhammad (Sallahu alayhi Wa Salam) said: 
“Whoever fasts Ramadan out of faith and with the hope of reward, all his previous sins will be forgiven.” (Al-Bukhaari, Fath, no. 37) 

4. Have fasting intercede for you on the Day of Judgment
The Prophet Muhammad (Sallahu alayhi wa salam ) said: 
“ Fasting will intercede for a person on the Day of Judgement, and will say, “O Lord, I prevented him from his food and physical desires during the day, so let me intercede for him.” (Reported by Ahmad, 2/174. Al-Haythami classed its isnaad as hasan in al-Majma’, 3/181. See also Saheeh al-Targheeb, 1/411). 

5. Have a smell that is better then Musk!
The Prophet Muhammad (Sallahu alayhi wa salam) Said: “The smell that comes from the mouth of a fasting person is better with Allah than the scent of musk.” (Muslim, 2/807). 

6. Enter Jannah if the day you are fasting is your last
The Prophet Muhammad (Sallahu alayhi wa salam) said: Whoever fasts one day seeking the pleasure of Allaah, if that is the last day of his life, he will enter Paradise. (Reported by Ahmad, 5/391; Saheeh al-Targheeb, 1/412). 

7. The dua of a fasting person will not be refused!
The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said: ‘Three men whose dua is never rejected (by Allah) are: the fasting person until he breaks his fast (in another narration, when he breaks fast), the just ruler and the o­ne who is oppressed.’ [Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi - Hasan] 

So don’t feel bad due to the balmy weather, for what Allah has is far better then any blueberry slurpee on a hot summer day, think about all the precious rewards you can enjoy in the hereafter which are nothing compared to what Allah has in store for us.

“ And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous” (Surah Ali Imran 3:133)

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below! :)

Ramadan Parents Special: Loving Him Is Loving Them

Bismillah


By Umm Sulaym

In the deepest parts of me, from the deepest cores within me, gushes the Spring of Your Love.

In the darkest of hours of my life, from the darkest of places of time, I always rise in Your Love.

How can I not love those whom You Created for me and only me to love?

How can I not strive to strengthen my link with You by cherishing those who nurtured me with love?

For loving You is loving them…

And worshipping You is obeying them…

Asalamoalaykum warahmatullah Dearest Sisters,

Ramadan knocks. We hasten to answer the door, to welcome the New Guest warmly. To open the door, to free our ‘hands’, we throw whatever we held. We feel proud of ourselves when we finish the Quraan but we don’t realize that the words of Allah subhaana wa ta'aala just cursed us because we didn’t bother to follow His Commands.We fast, but we lose our patience. We give Sadaqah (charity) to those outside without asking anything in return but we follow up with hurt when giving charity to those right under our roof. We are willing to jump at the command of our Team Lead at work place or when volunteering but when our parents ask us for a favour while we’re on the computer, we just are the slowest of the slowest sloths on this planet. And if some of us don’t feel like it, we conveniently shrug away responsibility by saying,

‘Well, my mum wasn’t there for me when I needed her the most. Why should I care?’

‘My dad didn’t allow us to get married even though he was such a pious brother. He didn’t care about my feelings. How can I ever forgive him?’

‘My parents emotionally abused me and didn’t build self-esteem within me as I was growing up. I don’t feel like being respectful to them.’

We may not verbalize these but these thoughts do creep up inside some people’s minds which prevent them from fulfilling their obligations.Why is it a burden to love those whom Allah asked us to love? Because we’re not loving them for the Sake of Allah subhaana wa ta'aala. Because we only care about what we get and not care about what we give. We forget that we’ll be answerable for what we do and not how people behaved with us.

Abu Bakr bin ‘Ayyash said:
“I used to sit with Mansur (a scholar) in his house and would hear his mother, who was loud and rude, shout at him, ‘O Mansur! Ibn Hubairah (governor of Iraq during that time) appointed you to the post of judge, but you refused. Mansur would not even look her in the eye out of respect for her.’ [Al Birr was-Silah,Ibn al Jauzi,pp.85]

Ramadan is the time in which most of us are trying to do as much of ‘Ibaadah as we can squeeze in our daily schedules. We are extra kind to our Muslim brothers and sisters. We mustn’t forget that while it’s praiseworthy to do all that, it is important to remember that the most deserving of our compassion and care are our parents.No, I’m not going to make you emotional to encourage you to be kind to them. I’m just going to state some scary facts.Trust me, you wouldn’t want to miss what is to come ahead in this article.

Allah subhaana wa ta'aala says in the Quraan:
"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as] 'uff' [i.e., an expression of irritation or disapproval] and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say: 'My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'" [Surah Al Israa, 17:23-24]
We read articles upon articles and research and plan to have the best Ramadan ever but do we ever think twice about our relationship with our parents? The irony is that some sisters are usually seen day-dreaming about building their own Islamic households (getting married, having kids etc.) while they can’t even handle and do Ihsaan in the relationship that Allah subhaana wa ta'aalahas already blessed them with.

Why do I make the connection between Ramadan and being dutiful to our parents?

It is stated in Tafseer Ibn Kathir regarding the above verse that:

There are many Hadiths which speak about honoring one's parents, such as the Hadith narrated through a number of chains of narration from Anas and others, which states that the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam climbed up on the Minbar, and then said, ‘Amin, Amin, Amin.’ It was said, "O Messenger of Allah, why did you say Amin'' He said: ‘Jibril came to me and said, "O Muhammad, he is doomed who hears you mentioned and does not say Salla upon you.’ He said, ‘Say Amin,’ so I said Amin. Then he said, ‘He is doomed who sees the month of Ramadan come and go, and he has not been forgiven.’ He said, ‘Say Amin,’ so I said Amin. Then he said, ‘He is doomed who grows up and both his parents or one of them are still alive, and they do not cause him to enter Paradise.'’ He said, ‘Say Amin,' so I said Amin.

Want to know why is it important to hasten to be dutiful to parents before doing other voluntary good deeds? Because: if done otherwise, one’s deeds are USELESS!

Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam has said: “Three acts will render one’s deeds useless: (1) associating others with Allah, (2) ‘Uquq towards parents and (3) fleeing from battle.” [At-Tabarani]
A very brief definition of ‘Uquq is being disrespectful,unkind and undutiful. Some types of ‘Uquq include : causing grief and sadness to parents because of a statement/action (making them cry), practicing evil in front of them(haram and immoral acts), disowning/abandoning parents,refraining from maintaining regular contact with them,wishing to ‘break free’ from parents who are strict in disciplining you to do righteousness.

Two Favours we seek from Allah subhaana wa ta'aala in Ramadan which can be multiplied by being dutiful to parents:

1. We all want our duaas to be accepted especially this Ramadan. Want to know about the individual whom Rasulalah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallamstamped as the one whose duaas get accepted?

Asir ibn Jaabir radiallahu `anhu narrated:Whenever people would come from Yemen, `Umar radhiallahu `anhu would ask them, "Is Uways Al-Qarani amongst you?" until, one year, he met Uways.He said, "Are you Uways Al-Qarani?" He said, "Yes."`Umar continued, "From Muraad, then Qaran?" He said, "Yes."`Umar then asked, "Were you once afflicted with leprosy and your skin healed except for a dirham’s area?" Uways said, "Yes."`Umar finally asked, "Do you have a mother (that is alive)?" He said, "Yes."`Umar then said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam– say, ‘Uways ibn Aamir will come to you with the delegations from Yemen, from Muraad, then from Qaran. He was once afflicted with leprosy and his skin healed except for a dirham’s area. He has a mother, and he treats her kindly. If he was to ever swear by Allah (for something) Allah would fulfill his oath. If you can, request that he ask forgiveness for you."`Umar then requested from Uways, "Ask forgiveness for me." And Uways Al-Qarani did. [Sahih Muslim]
Note that Uways al Qarani had the chance to leave his mother and go meet Rasulalah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam but he didn’t. What could be more important than meeting the beloved Prophetsal Allahu alayhi wa sallam? Yet, he stayed with his mother! SubhanAllah!

2. We seek Paradise in honoring people’s rights by protesting and standing up for justice. How about if we honor the rights of people within our homes?

The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallamregarded that as the best of deeds after prayer, and the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam heard the recitation of Haarithah ibn al-Nu’maan in Paradise and said: “He attained this level (in Paradise) because of honouring his mother.” Narrated by Ibn Wahb in al-Jaami’ (22); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (913).

Things to do this Ramadan to improve your relationship with parents:

By default: you’re supposed to fulfill all their needs and requirements except that which is against our religion. Ask them to forgive you especially this Ramadan. If they’re angry/upset, don’t leave until you seek their forgiveness, repent and make them laugh. Don’t do what makes them upset such as travelling when they don’t want you to and so on.Do hidden good deeds on their behalf such as distributing Islamic literature.There are several ahadith to support this so please do your research!


If you live with them:

  • Prepare a nice Suhoor for them and serve them in their room.
  • Put ‘Itr (perfume) on your father when he goes for Tarawih and our mother when she prays at home.
  • Ask them to teach you something Islamic to you even if you’re an Islamic scholar. This will make them feel important. Or ask them something you think they’ll know about Islam even if you know the answer to it, just on purpose. And listen to their response as if you’ve never heard the answer to it before. They’ll feel that honored that you listened to them attentively and feel that you respect their knowledge despite not being a young child anymore.
  • Give them shoulder and feet massage especially after Tarawih. Put lotion/cream on their feet to make them feel that you’re willing to humble yourself to show your concern.
  • Iron their clothes and organize their working space without them knowing (of course don’t breach the privacy rights).
  • Allot a certain time of the day to talk to them about things they want to talk about. This will show that you are interested in their lives.
  • Give them random hugs and don’t hesitate to have a heart-to-heart talk with them (politely of course).

If you do not live with them:
  • Send a Ramadan card/e-card filled with duaas for them and thanking them for all the times they helped you have a nice Ramadan when you were a child. Remind them about all the good things they did for you and assure them that you haven’t forgotten those tiny things.
  • Send flowers to them wishing them a great Ramadan to them or give a surprise visit with Iftaar ready.
  • Call them as often as you can and lend them an empathetic ear. Don’t hurt their honor by pitying them.
  • Honor their close friends and their extended family members by calling them up. This will increase respect of your parents in the sight of those people and will increase love between your parents and them.
  • If you have children, make them love their grandparents. Ask them to make different crafts and send it via mail to their grandparents.
  • If you have non-Muslim parents, you can do Dawah to them by being extra kind to them and telling them that Islam promotes kindness to parents regardless of their religion

If they’ve passed away:
  • Make duaa for them (you must make duaa for them even if they haven’t passed away)
  • Amir bin Abdullah bin Az-Zubair said: “For a year after my father died, all what I did was invoke Allah to forgive him.” [Birr-ul-Walidain, Ibn al Jauzi, pp.78]
  • Fulfill their oaths and promises(their will etc.)
  • Do Hajj on their behalf.
  • Start a perpetual charity on their behalf, such as digging up a well, building a Masjid, an Islamic Centre, an Islamic library, an Islamic hospital, an orphanage, etc.
  • Be generous to their friends, send them gifts and call them for Iftaar.
  • Teach your children and other people’s children to be respectful to parents.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Do all this for His Sake without asking anything in return and mentally preparing yourself that the path of righteousness always comes with its set of emotional trials to that the truthful and sincere ones are sieved from the liars and hypocrites.

Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested? (2) And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allâh will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allâh knows all that before putting them to test). (3) [Surah Al Ankaboot]

Rabbir-Ham-humaa Kamaa Rabba-yaani sag-heera [Surah Al Israa, 17:24]
Let’s strengthen our relationship with our parents so that all our good deeds are accepted in Ramadan inshaa’Allah!

And Allah subhaana wa ta'aalaknows best.

Love,
-Umm Sulaym

P.S. To read more about Kindness to Parents, please refer to this wonderful e-book.

I'd love to hear your views on this article. Please tell me in the comments section below :)

On The Shores Of Ramadan



  
Bismillah

Riding the tides towards its countless blessings; 
in sweet anticipation 

Actions and intentions becoming ajr bundles; 
a month of reflection 

Moon sighting ushering in its special essence; 
mind your desires 

Attention all believers! Race to repentance; 
inherit the eternal gardens 

Deep waves of remembrance and prayers; 
barakah in meals 

Ascending lofty heights, wrapped in eeman gears; 
mercy in abstinence 

Nestling hearts with purpose and consciousness; 
Content in spiritually soaked senses.


I'd love to hear your thoughts on this poem. Please post in the comment section below! :) 

Jun 20, 2015

Ramadan Diaries: De-Stressing From The Dunya: The Real Pursuit

Bismillah

A large, foolish majority lives like there is no tomorrow and that this world; this life and its material yaddi yaddi yadda, are the only pursuits to strive for. In the mad daily rush of mundane household chores and errands, the pressurizing weekly goals, monthly deadlines, annual commitments, and life goals we tend to forget that we are not here to stay and are accountable to Allah SWT on the Day of Judgement. We cast into oblivion, the fact, that the Hereafter is our permanent home and this world is simply an in-between stage of tests and trials. We can only be able to successfully de-stress from this world if we realize the two pursuits that we are really here for. Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him and his progeny (salAllahu aleyhi wa'aleyhi wasallam (SAWW)) clearly prescribed two pursuits of this world:“Knowledge and worship in this world, and Paradise in the Hereafter.”Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3488

We are simply trapped in this state of fake glamour which is designed to test our character. As Prophet Muhammad SAWW said: "The world is a prison for the believer and Paradise for the disbeliever." Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2324

A prison is not supposed to be a place of permanent dwelling and the idea is to serve the sentence and exit peacefully for a better future. That's the real pursuit. 

Pursuit Of Knowledge

Knowledge refers to everything that there is to be learned by our Creator, Allah SWT. And while some conservative perspectives decode it to be just Islamic knowledge, the more and more complete definition is the comprehensive knowledge of the world and its sciences, and all Creations of Allah SWT. This learning includes the Qur'an, Hadith, and Sunnah as a basic core and then academic sciences that we go after because they are studies of Allah SWT and His Creation if you think about it. Biology is the study of life, Chemistry is of molecules and substances Allah SWT created and Man discovered, and engineer learns Phsyics which is Allah's forces and phenomenon at play to run the show, and the list is endless.

So it is important to make dua'a this Ramadan for Allah SWT to increase our knowledge and guide us to the right resources. Prophet Muhammad SAWW guided us and said: "Ask Allah for beneficial knowledge and seek refuge with Allah from knowledge that is of no benefit." Sunan Ibn Majah 3843. Our lives should be spent; therefore, in pursuit of the fundamental types of knowledge that would complete our existence as we transition into the next world from this world.

  • Knowledge of the Qur'an: its pronunciation and meaning
  • Knowledge of Hadith: the authentic narratives of Prophet Muhammad SAWW which complete religious understanding
  • Knowledge of Sunnah: the righteous and perfect code of life as lived by Prophet Muhammad SAWW
  • Knowledge of Fiqh: the right decision-making knowledge each Muslim should have to live the Halal way
  • Knowledge of Islamic history: our golden heritage

Pursuit Of Worship

Worship also has a very broad meaning beyond the five times compulsory daily prayers (salah). Each act done to please the Creator is worship. If you bow your head, prostrate, and make dua'a that is worship. If you serve His people with kindness and love and bring humankind no harm, that; too, is worship. If you adhere to the teachings of the Qur'an, Hadith, and Sunnah, that is worship. And, if you control the evils within your psyche (nafs) that; too, is worship. This Ramadan, God Willing (insha'Allah) work towards de-stressing from the dunya by focusing on selfless, dedicated worship of Allah SWT. Focus on:

  • Worshiping the Omnipotent, the Almighty, and none other but Allah - the God of Heavens and Earth
  • Worship with sincere dua'a - the essence of worship
  • Worship with belief that only Allah SWT can make trials easy upon you, and He definitely will
  • Worship in the early hours of the day - Fajr
  • Worship in the later hours of the night - Tahajjud
  • Worship extra! - Nawafil
These two pursuits - knowledge and worship - are a fundamental part of strengthening our core and the work should begin now! May Allah SWT help us all focus our minds and soul towards the real pursuits and make us de-stress from the dunya so as to earn greater rewards for the Hereafter. Ameen.

Jun 18, 2015

Ramadan Diaries: Day 01 - Strengthen Your Core This Ramadan

By Anum Ali
Bismillah


"If you want to get rid of pain, you need to strengthen your core." 


... said my chiropractic health coach. She went on to elaborate how I can achieve that by de-stressing my mind, detoxing my internal systems, and training my body. I fell in love with the term "strengthening the core".

Our religion (Deen) is our core and we can use Ramadan to strengthen it. When I say religion I don't just mean theological Islam but the Islamic lifestyle according to Quran and lifestyle (sunnah) of Prophet peace be upon him and his progeny (Muhammad salAllahu aleyhi wa'aleyhi wasallam).

The theme for Ramadan Diaries 2015 is "Strengthening the Core" and it works around simple strategies:
  • De-stress: from the world (dunya) and focus on the Hereafter (akhirah)
  • Training: of the psyche (nafs)
  • Detox: from major and minor sins

De-stressing From The Dunya: Sunnah Reloaded

I recall Agent Smith's expression form The Matrix (1999). He was pretty annoyed by Humankind and said: 

" Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not."

True! It is a mad race we appear to be running each day in pursuit of worldly gains. Of course, Allah SWT has sent us to attain success and enjoy the boons and luxury of this world but we tend to forget that we are not here to stay, and that we will be accountable for what we do. People who over-indulge tend to believe that this world is a permanent haven and keep on striving for more of everything - money, fame, fortune, glamour, and etc. Such pursuits come with enormous stressors because an individual feels a constant, pressing need of either becoming rich, famous, superior to others, and etc.  He or she lives like there is no Hereafter and whatever is there to achieve is in this dunya alone. In this process they end up twisting and contorting their lifestyles, personalities, beliefs, and attitudes. Conclusively, they lose or compromise their faith (Imaan) over the world (dunya). This is where the Spoon Boy's advice comes in:

"Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead ... only try to realize the truth. Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."

We need to realize (and there is no better beginning than Ramadan) that there is no dunya (material world). Only then can we escape from the stress, panic, troubles, and depression haunting our bodies and minds. If we follow the Sunnah (lifestyle of the Prophet Muhammad SAWW), we can attain this state of true being. 

Prophet Muhammad SAWW said (narrated by Abu Hurairah):
"The world is a prison for the believer and Paradise for the disbeliever." Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2324


Training Of The Psyche (Nafs)
Ramadan is a month of quality control for a person which allows him or her to polish character, realize and refine virtues, and introduce and instill good manners. The biggest challenges are not hunger and thirst but the control of one's nafs. A successful fast is that in which a person succeeds in living through the day without food and water and also maintaining strong emotional and social balance.  Anger, greed, lust, hate, backbiting, lies, pride, arrogance, harsh talk, and possibly all evils budding from the likes of Satan (Shaytan) must be hunted down, restrained, and destroyed forever.

Ramadan Diaries will; therefore, be a journey to Strengthen The Core and I shall be sharing with you some strategies to De-stress, Detox, and Train. Taking it on as one principle per ten-day period (ashra) here is a proposed timetable insha'Allah.


Detox For Major & Minor Sins
Seeking repentance (Istighfar) is the only detox for major and minor sins. Ramadan is a golden opportunity for having sins forgiven and all records cleansed, provided your intention is pure and you never repeat wrong again.

Prophet Muhammad SAWW was heard saying (narrated by Abu Hurairah):
"Whoever prayed at night in it (the month of Ramadan) out of sincere Faith and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven." Sahih al-Bukhari 2008

First Ashra:
De-stressing From The Dunya: Sunnah Reloaded


Second Ashra: 

Training Of The Psyche (Nafs)


Third Ashra: 

Detox For Major & Minor Sins

ONCE AGAIN, I WISH YOU A BLESSED RAMADAN KAREEM. MAY ALLAH SWT GRANT US ALL THE STRENGTH AND STAMINA TO SERVE HIM SELFLESSLY, AMEEN.

Jun 16, 2015

Dua'as I Intend To Make This Ramadan

By Danielle Garvey
Republished from original

Bismillah 


With the fast approach of Ramadan, many of us have begun preparations for this special month. For this reason I would like to remind everyone, including myself, that one aspect of ibaada we must not neglect in our preparations is that of du’a. Unfortunately, du’a becomes lost in the midst of our busy schedules either being neglected completely or reduced to a mere recitation devoid of any feeling or sincerity.

When Ramadan comes, the Doors of Paradise are opened, and the Doors of Hell are closed, and the Shayatin are chained up”(Ibn Maajah).

This is one of many powerful indicators that du’a made during Ramadan has a greater chance of being accepted. There is no better time than this to make a serious commitment to learning more du’as and incorporating them into our daily lives. A simple and effective way of achieving this goal is to compile a short list of the most important and relevant du’as you wish to learn. I would like to share some from my own personal list to be used as a starting point for your own inshaAllah.

1. Du’a of breaking fast

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسأَلُكَ بِرَحْمَتِكَ الَّتِي وَسِعَتْ كُلَّ شَيْءٍ أَنْ تَغْفِرَ لِي

O Allah, I ask You by Your mercy, which encompasses all things, that You forgive me.

The fasting person has at the time of breaking fast, a supplication which is not rejected (Ibn Majah, Al Hakim).

As we can see from this hadith, we should choose the du’a we make upon breaking our fast carefully as it is guaranteed a response inshaAllah. I have chosen just one of a number of dua’s which are sunnah to say when breaking the fast however I favoured this particular one due to its focus on repentance which we are all in desperate need of.

2. Du’a for a family who invites you to break their fast with them

أفْطَرَ عِنْدَكُمُ الصَّائِمُونَ، وَ أَكَلَ طَعَامَكُمُ الأبْرَارُ، وَ صَلَّتْ عَلَيْكُم ُ الْمَلائِكَةُ

May those who are fasting break their fast in your home, and may the dutiful and pious eat your food and may the angels send prayers upon you.

This is surely the most beautiful and beneficial way to repay someone for having you at their home for iftar. Remember, any du’a you sincerely make for another, the angels will make for you also.

3. Du’a against laziness

اَللّهُمَّ إِنِّيْ أَعُوْذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْعِجْزِ ، وَالْكَسْلِ، وَالْجُبْنِ ، وَالْهَرَمِ ، وَالْبُخْلِ ، وَأَعُوْذُ بِكَ مِنْ عَذَابِ الْقَبْرِ، وَأَعُوْذُ بِكَ مِنْ فِتْنَةِ الْمَحْيَا وَالْمَمَاتِ.

O Allah, I seek refuge in You from weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, anxiety and sorrow, and I seek refuge in You from the torments of grave, and I seek refuge in You from the trials and tribulations of life and death.

For many of us laziness is a big problem, whether it takes the form of missing fajr, neglecting to recite Qur’an or, as previously discussed abandoning du’a. However, to truly benefit from Ramadan we must endeavor to overcome this. This du’a is beneficial to all of us in this regard but also because it seeks refuge from anxiety, sorrow, torments of the grave and the trials and tribulations of life and death. Its comprehensiveness makes it an excellent du’a to remember and use regularly.

4. Du’a of repentance

أستغفر الله العظيم الذي لا إله إلا هو الحي القيوم وأتوب إليه

The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘Whoever says: ‘I seek Allah’s forgiveness, besides whom, none has the right to be worshipped except He, The Ever Living, The Self-Subsisting and Supporter of all, I turn to Him in repentance.’ …Allah would forgive him even if he was one who fled during the advance of an army.

We are all guilty of regularly committing sins, many of which we may not have repented from or did not even realise we were committing. In fact, the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam himself said: ‘By Allaah, I seek forgiveness and repent to Allaah, more than seventy times a day.’ (Al Bukhari)

As the sunnah of our beloved Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam who was the best human being to ever live, it shows us how important it is for us to be constantly turning to Allah in repentance. We lose nothing when we do so rather we only gain benefits, including an increased closeness to Allah and a greater chance of entering jannah inshaAllah.

5. Du’a for forgiveness for the believers


رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ

Our Lord, forgive me and my parents and the believers the Day the account is established.”(14:41)

The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

Whoever seeks forgiveness for the believing men and women, a good deed will be written for him for every single believing man and women (that he prayed for)” (Al-Tabarani).

SubhanAllah, such a simple du’a can reap such enormous reward. However, it is important to note that, as with any du’a, sincerity is required for it to be responded to and for the aforementioned benefits to be gained. In order to find this sincerity within ourselves we must have knowledge of the akhira; what will take place on yawm al qiyamah and the realities of jannah and jahannum. We must also develop a love and sense of mercy for all the believers and a fear for what could happen to them, including ourselves and our loved ones should Allah not forgive our countless sins. 

Indeed Allah subhaana wa ta’aala is Shy and Beneficent. He is Shy when His servant raises his hands to Him (in du’a) to return them empty’ (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi).

As this hadith implies, regular remembrance of Allah through du’a has countless benefits including protecting us from sin and bringing us closer to Allah. The benefits are even more so during the month of mercy when the reward of every good deed is multiplied. To achieve an optimal appreciation of and benefit from our du’as, I recommend gaining knowledge of the etiquette of du’a, an excellent resource of which is ‘Du’a: The Weapon of the Believer’ by Abu Ammar Yasir Qadhi. Most importantly, let none of us miss this incredible opportunity to earn reward from making sincere du’a a part of our everyday ibaada because none of us know if we will live to see it again.

References
www.quran.com
www.makedua.com
www.digitaldua.com
Du’a: The Weapon of the Believer by Abu Ammar Yasir Qadhi
Fortress of the Muslim: Invocations from the Qur’an and Sunnah compiled by Sa’id bin Wahf Al-Qahtani

I'd love to hear your views on this topics.  Please post in the comments section below! :)

Jun 5, 2015

Setting Up A Ramadan Hangout

Bismillah


Book lovers have a reading nook, video games fanatics have a gamers' den, baking fans have a baking studio, artists have creative workshops. These are all hangouts for different kinds of individuals custom-designed to serve their life's most favorite pursuits. Ramadan is a big pursuit too! And it deserves a special hangout. 

A good Ramadan Hangout helps to trigger the feels and vibes for the beautiful month of blessings. It is equipped with the resources that help focus attention to the glorious mission of the blessed 30 days. Personally, I like my hangout to be my own place of solitude. But friends can arrange for a common hangout too where combined reward (Ajr) can be gained. Here are a few recommendations from Sisterly Yours: 

  • Ensure that your Ramadan Hangout is a clean, pure place. 

  • Make sure there are no distractions around the Ramadan Hangout e.g. Xbox, Wii, TV, and etc. 

  • It is best to pitch your Ramadan Hangout close to your musallah (prayer place). If you use ja-i-namaaz (prayer rugs) then you have what I call a mobile musallah and you can just have it set up besides your hangout. 

  • Ladies, your Ramadan Hangout should ideally be a centrally located spot in the house (still, secluded enough for alone time) so you can still keep a distant watchful eye on running the house. 

  • The Ramadan Hangout should be comfortable so you can lay down when you are tired, have good back support when you are sitting up to read, and have proper cooling for hot humid summers. 

  • Get fancy and decorate your Ramadan Hangout to create the feels of Ramadan. Create an ambiance that pulls you towards the hangout! Incense sticks, candles, lanterns, comfy pillows, get creative. 

  • Have a table, organizer basket, or storage boxes around the Hangout so your Ramadan Reads, and other resources do not scatter and make the place untidy and cluttered. 

  • Have a good light source because you will be reading. 

  • Have a power outlet in case you plan to recharge your cell phone, plug in your laptop/iPod/etc. 

  • Have a pen holder stocked with pencils, pens, and highlighters because you will be reading your Ramadan Reads, taking notes, or marking important facts. 

  • Your Ramadan Hangout is the place where you will keep your Ramadan Journal.
I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below!

5 TIPS FOR MAKING UP MISSED RAMADAN FASTS

by Aasiya Maryam
Republished from original

Bismillah


Debt is one of the many reasons people worry. Imagine taking a loan from someone, with intent of returning it by the following year. Now imagine not being able to repay this loan by the due date, and it just so happens that there arises a need to take out this loan again the following year, and the year after, and so forth. What you have now is a big debt on your shoulder, which has accumulated over the years. And now you do not understand what to do about it! How do you repay such a huge loan?!

While we are worried about this worldly debt, there is another debt that, if not repaid, can affect our akhirah (hereafter). A debt we owe to Allah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala) - the debt of our missed fasts! Most of us have not been able to make up the missed fasts from the past Ramadan, whether it is due to our own personal reasons, or simply out of ignorance.

We must realise that it is extremely important for us to make up these fasts because they are fard (obligatory) on us. It is an obligatory act and, in fact, we should have made them up before Ramadan of the present year. Allah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala) says in the Qur’an –

"The month of Ramadhan [is that] in which was revealed the Qur'an, 
a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion. 
So whoever sights [the new moon of] the month, let him fast it; 
and whoever is ill or on a journey - then an equal number of other days. 
Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship 
and [wants] for you to complete the period 
and to glorify Allah for that [to] which He has guided you; 
and perhaps you will be grateful." (2:185)

Here are 5 tips to get you started on this absolutely important task of making up your missed obligatory fasts:

1. INTENTION:


'Umar ibn al-Khattab relates that he heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, say, "Verily actions are by intentions, and for every person is what he intended…” [Bukhari]

Begin with making a strong intention to make up all your missed fasts for the sake of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala). Seek Allah’s forgiveness and repent for delaying it. Make the intention to repay this debt in order to protect your akhirah.


2. PLAN:

Brainstorm and create a plan to make up these fasts.

· Firstly, count the number of days you missed. If you do not remember the exact number, then approximate, add a few extra days to stay on the safe side.

· Set a deadline – say 6 months or by end of the year. This is your deadline by when you must complete all the fasts.

· Depending on what is preferred and convenient for you, decide how many days a week you will fast. This could be Mondays and Thursdays, the white days (13,14,15) of every month of Islamic calendar, or Dawood’s alayhissalaam fast – fasting on alternative days, etc.

3. PREPARE:


Make all arrangements of what you want to eat for suhoor. Since you may be the only person fasting at home, you want to be ready for it. If you face a problem of waking up for suhoor set 3 – 4 alarms; you are sure to get up from at least one of them, inshaAllah.

4. ‘FAST’ FRIEND:


I have had a tough time motivating myself to make up my missed fasts. It was not until a close friend asked me to be her “fast friend” that I was able to kick start my mission- “make up missed fasts,” alhumdulillah. In case you are facing the same problem, find a ‘fast friend’ – you can keep each other updated about the number of fasts you have left, which days you plan to fast, how you plan to make up further fasts, wake each other up for suhoor, and also give each other the required motivation to keep going when you find yourselves getting lazy again, inshaAllah!

5. MOTIVATE:


I did not realize the importance of making up missed fasts until another close friend added me to her facebook group – (Sisters Only) Making Up Missed fasts of past Ramadans. It provides a lot of motivation and inspiration from other sisters to pay back the debt we owe to Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala. I urge you to join the group to help you get going, inshaAllah!

Fasting during Ramadan is an obligatory act of worship, and not making up the missed fasts before the next Ramadan (without a valid reason) is a sin. So, let’s seek Allah’s subhaanahu wa ta’aala forgiveness for it and make a firm intention to make them up on time in the future, inshaAllah.

May Allah forgive us and grant us ease to complete all the missed fasts.


NOTE: Regarding fiqh rulings on making up missed fasts, please refer the following links:
1. Ruling on delaying missed Ramadan and paying fidya
2. Do we need to make up missed fasts on consecutive days?

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below!


Jun 2, 2015

How to Maintain a Ramadan Diary

By Anum Ali

Bismillah 

Two years ago when I started writing my first Ramadan diary, online, I didn’t know that it would grow into a wonderful sisters’ blog. Furthermore, it evolved into a sisterly project - a combination of knowledge and entertainment. ‘Sisterly Yours’ is now a Facebook page listed amongst the ‘Top 100 Muslim Women Fan Pages’ according to a 2011 survey by the American Muslim Mom website. How it happened is a tale of some serious and dedicated diary-writing.

The Wonders of Writing a Ramadan Diary
In the year 2010, I embarked on the journey that I called the Muslim Dream. It is centered around a spiritual and physical struggle of becoming an ideal Muslim woman. Ramadan crossed my path and I took it as a starting point, I was going to begin with repentance. The theme of the Ramadan diary, therefore, was me seeking forgiveness from Allah, the Most Merciful.

There are two types of diaries with the first one being the personal diary and the second being a goal-oriented diary, and both help you discover yourself. When you combine the two types you get a beautiful chronological autobiography of your personal struggle. Recognizing and talking about your feelings and emotions helps you understand yourself. Your diary is an extended version of you. And, of course, you can always turn back the pages to read about your past events and emotions.

So when we speak of maintaining a Ramadan diary, we are talking about a 30 day log at the very minimum which keeps a record of physical, psychological, and spiritual state. It helps in setting up goals and the strategies to achieve them, manage time, and reflect on what we experience at the end of the day.

Choosing a Diary
It is entirely your own decision whether you wish to write in a classic leather-bound journal, a notebook, or type it out on your PC / laptop. It is again your choice whether you wish to keep it personal or publish it like I chose to do with my online Ramadan diary blog. If you choose to remain secretive you will not have to worry about confidentiality issues, criticism, and judgment by the readers. Your confidential expression will help you with emotional management without the feeling of being watched. However, going public will help you connect with productive communities and individuals with a similar Ramadan cause. You will have to sort through constructive and destructive criticism, though. If written for an audience, along with the personal development motive, a Ramadan diary could benefit the Muslim community at large.

Ramadan Diary Index
A diary written without much thought becomes more of a daily ranting blurb, however, a properly planned Ramadan diary will become a guidebook for your friends and family to benefit from. So, begin with a rough outline of your aims and objectives. Allah subhana wa ta'aala has already designated three ahraas (10 day periods) during Ramadan and their themes are rehmah (seeking blessings), maghfirah (seeking repentance), and nijaat (seeking riddance from hellfire). Your diary could have a three phase index based on how you struggled during the three ashraas. That’s how I maintain mine.

Daily Writing
Dairy writing is at its best when it’s being done consistently i.e. daily during Ramadan. The format of your entries is entirely up to you. I made it a point to include sections in my daily entries so it was an eclectic mix of knowledge and entertainment at the same time. It began with an introductory dua’a suited to the theme of the ashraa, for example, a dua’a for repentance in the second ashraa. I like including the latest from my favorite websites, so there was always a quote shared from Habibi Halaqas. It is a great idea to use Ramadan tools and resources like Productive Ramadan’s Taskinator which keeps a spiritual and physical log of your day. Websites also share beautiful quotes, hadith, and messages drafted on gorgeous, though-provoking graphics and I always use them to add life to my online diaries. The main idea is to speak about your day so it proves to be a reflection for you, an idea of what’s missing so you could incorporate that in your Ramadan routine.

Be Creative and Pass on the Ramadan Legacy
Your Ramadan diary, if written dedicatedly, could become an ideal gift for the Muslim community. If you’ve kept it personal, you can always choose to give it to your children or a special family member to benefit from your Ramadan tales. This way your Ramadan legacy can be well preserved. Many people get their diaries published and make the bestseller lists. Of course, they edit the details according to their preferences, but each individual’s Ramadan story is a heroic tale of how they have earned a special place in this world and the next by Allah’s Will.

I also feel that you might want to have a thorough recall of your previous Ramadan before you start the next to check how much you have evolved spiritually, and you can always take a trip down the memory lane by reading through your Ramadan diary.

Happy writing!

Jun 1, 2015

Sha'ban - The Bridge To Ramadan


Bismillah


Usamah bin Zaid said:

"I said: 'O Messenger of Allah, I do not see you fasting any month as much as Shaban.' He said: 'That is a month to which people do not pay much attention, between Rajab and Ramadan. It is a month in which the deeds are taken up to the Lord of the worlds, and I like that my deeds be taken up when I am fasting."' (Sunan an-Nasa'i 2357)


So how would we like our deeds to be taken up as? Think of Sha'baan as a bridge to Ramadan. Right now we are passing over that glorious, hidden bridge that we often tend not to pay too much attention to, as Prophet Muhammad salAllahu aleyhi wa'aleyhi wasallam pointed out. There's a mad pre-Ramadan rush everywhere. Some people are too busy rushing weddings so they may get them done before Ramadan starts. Who would attend a wedding in Ramadan, right? Whereas some are too busy trying to have all their social meetups done before Tarawihs and prayers begin and occupy evenings and nights of their friends and families, and yadi yadi yada you name it.

Ideally, Sha'baan should be spent in an urgency to score good deeds because they are being taken up to Allah swt and our piles of good are increasing. This is like an added bonus that precedes Ramadan and only the early birds can benefit from it. 

Another beautiful analogy is that of irrigating the seed to reap its fruits in Ramadan. Sow your seeds (plan well and ahead) in Rajab, irrigate in Sha'baan, and reap the fruit in Ramadan.

I took this to heart and began working up my Ramadan act in Rajab. The biggest hurdle that ruined my Ramadan last year was a stubborn stomach infection that stays active all the time and does not let me fast. I found myself throwing up and writhing in pain from an empty stomach and had to give up fasts. This year I planned ahead,alhamdulllah, and asked my doctor about treating this bug before it ruined another Ramadan. So, throughout Rajab I was on a multi-antibiotics regimen that nuked the daylights out of the infection. I feel so much better, and I am working on keeping my stomach empty for longer periods of time so I can rehearse Ramadan mode. I am taking Sha'baan to work up Qur'an recitation (so I can finish the Qur'an by the time Ramadan ends), and planning on Ramadan resources.

Plan Sha'baan: Let's Walk That Bridge
  1. Use Sha'ban to set yourself straight: health concerns, address personal concerns, correct habits such as sleep patterns, etc.
  2. Make a head start on your Qur'an recitation. Aim for at least 1/2 juz per day (divide it into 1/4 juz in one sitting, and arrange for 2 sittings in a day) so you have 15 juz complete by the end of Sha'baan inshaAllah.
  3. Arrange for 'Ramadan Reads' - good books that you would be reading through Ramadan, make a head start on those.
  4. Set up a Qur'an schedule for recitation and tafsir (you don't want to be reading without meaning!)
  5. Plan good deeds: fasting, charity, winning hearts of people, treating parents well, etc.
  6. Set up your 'Ramadan Hangout' - a peaceful place in your house where you will go for prayers, reading Qur'an and books in peace and quiet, make it comfy and make it cool!
  7. Cross off distractions: let people know you'll be working it like your last Ramadan, ease up on TV watching, Facebook-ing, and etc.
  8. Finish up kitchen management: cleaning, bulk cooking, Ramadan menu planning
  9. Set up your Ramadan Goals: what do you wish to achieve this Ramadan?Basically, make Ramadan an extension of Sha'ban. You would be following a great advice of the Prophet (SAWW) - a wonderful Sunnah - this way.
Umm Salamah said:

"The Messenger of Allah used to join Shaban to Ramadan." (Sunan an-Nasa'i 2176)

Happy Sha'ban. Stay tuned for more Ramadan articles. Don't forget to join me for Ramadan Diaries 2015 inshaAllah.

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below!

Jan 28, 2015

Top 10 Tips for a Life of Gratitude




by Sabeen Mansoori

Bismillah

I have met people whose degree of ingratitude has shocked and saddened me and, I have met people who are so grateful that they have left me speechless. At Hajj there was a group of Hajis that wasted their precious time in the city of the beloved Prophet Muhammad sal Allahu aleyhi wa'aleyhi wasallam (SAWW) (peace upon him and his progeny) complaining and arguing about the fact that they had been given a four-star hotel instead of the five-star one that they were promised. As they raised their voices in anger, I thought about the thousands of people that would give anything to be in their shoes. How ungrateful can you be? I also have a dear friend who is suffering from an excruciatingly painful disease and yet she remains extremely patient and grateful. Her eyes are full of tears from the pain but when you offer your sympathies, she smiles and replies, “No worries, dear. At least I am still around to feel the pain.”

In Islam gratitude is not inculcated by simply writing thank you notes to people. A believer’s entire life is a note of Shukr (gratitude) to the Creator – a note that is written out of love and appreciation, sealed with acts of worship and stamped with deeds of service to His creatures. But how is one to write such a note? What are the skills that must be practiced and perfected so that we can protect ourselves from Kufr (ingratitude).

Top 10 Tips to Leading A Life of Gratitude

1. Sincerely Yours: 

Sign your life the way Prophet Ibrahim aleyhissalam (AS) (peace on him) did:

Say, "Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah , Lord of the worlds.(Surah Al-Anam 6:162)

Allah subhana wa ta’la (SWT) praised him in the Quran:

"[He was] grateful for His favors. Allah chose him and guided him to a straight path." (16:121)

2. Have No Regrets

Prophet Yusuf (AS) who faced so many challenges in his life: being separated from his family, slavery, being seduced by his master’s wife, and imprisonment is nothing but grateful as he looks back.

And he raised his parents upon the throne, and they bowed to him in prostration. And he said, 

"O my father, this is the explanation of my vision of before. My Lord has made it reality. And He was certainly good to me when He took me out of prison and brought you [here] from bedouin life after Satan had induced [estrangement] between me and my brothers. Indeed, my Lord is Subtle in what He wills. Indeed, it is He who is the Knowing, the Wise.(12:100)

3. Comparing is Complaining

Appreciate your uniqueness and the abilities, talents and opportunities that Allah (SWT) has provided you with: 

"And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others…(Sura An- Nisa 4:32)

Look up to and compare only in matters of Deen (religion) so that you can race to excel in acts of goodness. Comparing in anything else will only lead to regret and ingratitude.

4. Step Outside

"Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding." (3:190)

Join the congregation of the trees as they make sajdah (kneel) to their Rabb (Lord) and a new kind of gratitude and contentment will infuse your life.

5. Persevere with Patience
Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah says in Patience and Gratitude: “Iman (faith) is in two halves: half is Sabr (patience) and half is Shukr (gratitude)” [1]. One cannot be attained without the other. Patient people are grateful and impatient people are ungrateful and unhappy.

6. Don't Be A Victim

Several times Allah (SWT) informs us in the Quran:

That is for what your hands have put forth and because Allah is not ever unjust to [His] servants." (3:182)

7. Believe in Jannah (Paradise) 
If you believe in Paradise then be grateful for everything you were not granted in this world because it will be unimaginably better over there. If your burden feels heavier now, on the Day of Judgment, insha Allah (by Allah's Will) the burden of your sins will be light. If you feel unappreciated and; therefore, ungrateful, know that Allah alone knows and understands.

8. Do Not Share Your Burden

Sharing your problems will lead to multiple problems. As you vent, your problems will seem to magnify as they become a part of someone else’s consciousness.They will feel sorry for you and you will feel even sorrier for yourself (see point 6 above). News might spread to people who should not know of your problems and might lead to unnecessary fitna. Wallowing in self pity will sap your creativity and make you an ungrateful, useless person.

9. If There Was No If

A what-if mentality creates burdens and fuels unhappiness. The Prophet (SAWW) warned against such mentality [2]:

Prophet Muhammad (SAWW) said:

"Seek out that which benefits you, seek help only from Allah and never say you can't do it. If any adversity comes to you do not say: 'If I had only acted in such-and-such a way, it would have been such-and-such;' but instead, say: 'Allah has decreed (it) and what He willed, He has done,' for verily, (the word) ‘if’ opens the way for the work of Satan." [Sahih Muslim]

10. Be Productive

Productivity and gratitude are intrinsically tied in a beautiful cycle. Fill your days with ibadah and zikr and serve the creation of Allah and you will be granted a life of gratitude. Gratitude will make you more productive which will make you more grateful and so on.

And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.' "(14:7)

So next time you get the urge to complain, take a deep breath and reconsider. This exercise will have to be repeated several times a day till you develop an attitude of gratitude. I hope these ten tips help you in your struggle and make dua that they help me in my journey to a more grateful life. Please share any steps you have taken to add gratitude to your life.

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below!

References

[1] Patience and Gratitude Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah P.61 [Source] http://quranproject.org/Patience-and-Gratitude-563-d

[2] The What-If Mentality https://clearpearls.wordpress.com/tag/quran%EF%85%93/