Oct 22, 2014

Do You Wish that Allah Should Forgive You?

By: Amina Edota


Have you ever come across the quote, “Your secret is safe with me and ten of my best friends?”

Now, imagine your childhood friend turning this quote into a sad reality. You confide in her your mega secret and she goes and shares it with her own clique of friends.

How about your office mate and colleague setting you up against the manager so that she can easily get a promotion over you?

And just when you think nothing else could go wrong in your life, you have a major fallout with your siblings, parents, or spouse.

These scenarios are typical encounters we go through in our day to day lives. They could cause us stress, tears, and pain, especially coming from close friends and loved ones.

But what is the way forward? Is it to plot revenge, get nasty, or swear never to forgive and forget?

It is quite easy to say to yourself, or to the one you believe has caused you pain and hurt, that you can never forgive him/her. But is there a nobler act than forgiving those who wrong us?

“... and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (24:22}

Simple Steps to Forgiving Others
  • Make Dua for them. Remember that nobody is prefect, so ask Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, to forgive those who wrong you and guide them to the right path. This acceptance of their human nature will make you accept their mistakes, lower your expectations of them, and relieve yourself of undue burden or of holding on to unnecessary grudges from the past. 
  • Take a lesson from the situation. When you believe that everything happens for a reason, you will reflect closely on every situation - whether good or bad- and take lessons for the future. You can turn the lesson into a learning opportunity, to become a better person, and live a better life. 
  • Simply let go. Make no big deal out of the issue, or go about discussing the pain and anger with anyone who has some minutes to spare. It is a plot of Shaytan to distract you from engaging in rewarding acts like remembrance, reading, and da’wah.
  • Seek an opportunity for a resolution. Where possible, organise for you and the offending party to meet and iron out misunderstandings, especially where family members are involved. This is to avoid the issue escalating in the future and causing dissensions among other family members. Resolution also provides an avenue for each person's views to be heard, while seeking a long lasting beneficial option such as peace, rather than malice.
  • Seek reward for your forgiving act. Ask Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, to reward you for the pain, and your act of forgiveness and turn it into a blessed reward for you. Remember that every good act you do for Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala's, pleasure will be rewarded by Him. 

And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allah . (42:40)

  • Imagine yourself wronging others. When the tables turn around, it could actually be you causing mischief or hurt to others - knowingly or unknowingly. You could also sin against your Lord, the Almighty. Will you not wish for Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, to forgive you? If you do, then learn to forgive others. If you need Allah's forgiveness, as well as the forgiveness of other humans, be patient and try to be the first to exhibit forgiveness as difficult as it may seem.

Beautiful Lessons to Note

A beautiful reminder of this act of forgiveness can be seen from the life of our beloved Prophet, Sal Allahu alayhi Wassalam. He taught us to supplicate; 

''O Allah, You are the most Forgiving One, You love to forgive, so forgive me.'' (Tirmidhee and Ibn Majah)

You can also take lessons from the story of Yusuf, Alayhi Salaam, who forgave his brothers after all the pain they caused him; And from Abu Bakr, Radiyallahu Anhu, who forgave his cousin after slandering his daughter - Aisha, Radiyallahu Anha.

It is OKAY to feel hurt and even cry at the pain others cause you. But you should also take the big step towards healing by forgiving them. Build the bridge that will restore good feelings through your kind words, mercy, and forgiveness.

It may be difficult, but not impossible.

And even when you cannot see a reason, remember you are in need of forgiveness too.

But when in doubt ask yourself: Do you wish that Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, should forgive you?

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please leave comments in the section below!


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