Jan 20, 2014

Guest Post: Annoyed by Others?

Guest Post


Have you ever been in a situation where someone kept annoying you, betrayed you, bad-mouthed you or did bad things to you for no apparent reasons that you could understand, yet it was completely reasonable or logical for that person. It is a shame especially for whatever reasons, you also cannot ignore or leave them for what they did. Or we ourselves continuously do unproductive or bad things, that to think of it makes us annoyed and angry towards our own selves?

This recommendation from al-Fussilat (41), verse 34 is proven to work excellently (from personal experience):

“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better…” 
[Surah Al-Fussilat 41:34] 

It is actually an order from our Lord to the faithful believers (i.e. if we truly believe we will) to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat us badly. So it is either other people or we ourselves who are committing bad deeds. Be patient and do good deeds instead. Replace each of our bad deeds with a good deed. 

  • Say Hi! Hello! How are you? 
  • Say “Assalaamu Alaykum” to someone who we know has bad-mouthed us. 
  • Offer a helping hand to someone whom we know has lied to us. 
  • Smile at people who like to ‘smash’ us in public. 
Every little thing matters.

And the consequence of that, the verse (41:34) ends:

“…and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.”
[Surah Al-Fussilat 41:34]

Amazing is it not, that hatred could simply vanish and it does not stop there. We could become close friends, which is beyond our imaginations. This is because we did say to ourselves every now and then, NEVER would we befriend them again. Truly we just need FAITH, and believe that this WILL happen as stated because we know our Lord never lies!

But what is in all this for us then? To keep doing good things for those who have no heart for us is not an activity of leisure nor pleasure. And the evil deeds done to us definitely caused us pain and anger. Do not be sad or annoyed, because our Lord knows us better than ourselves. After all, He created us. 

He said in the very next verse:

“But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good].”  
[Surah Al-Fussilat 41:35]

Would you not be happy to know this? If you are able to get through it and keep your cool, you will be labeled as “The Patient”, and nothing could be better than the promised Paradise in the Hereafter. And surely those who can keep their cool are of high moral character. Patience is something not everyone has but we definitely should strive to acquire it because the reward for practising it is just priceless – PARADISE WITHOUT JUDGEMENT - of all your deeds in this life.

Az-Zumar (39), verse 10 states:

“Say, ‘O My servants who have believed, fear your Lord. For those who do good in this world is good, and the earth of Allah is spacious. Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.’ ” 
[Surah Az-Zumar 39:10]

Be happy being patient! 

Share your thoughts about this article in the comments section below :)


I just picked up my son after he spent a weekend with his father. It's amazing how his father continues to bad mouth me and tries to turn oyr son against me subhanAllah. I am having a really hard time keeping my cool and I really really needed a reminder to be patient. May Allah swt reward you for this. JazakAllah Khair.

There will ALWAYS be people who will not appreciate you, overlook things you have done for them and generally find fault with you.
But one must remember, the difference between us and them is our strength to forget and carry on, our tongues must only speak good, Muslims of heart must be pure in mind, do not let petty thoughts occupy our minds :-)
If you know you may say something you will regret, it's best to stay away from someone. Allah swt is all knowing and nothing goes unheard or unseen. Allah swt sends all kinds of people into our lives to learn from them, the good and the bad, He is with those who are patient! :-)

Despicable when parents use their children to snipe at each other.

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