Short Story: MY WIFE IS A NINJA CHAPTER 16

By Alawiya Abdallah

Bismillah

Osman

I cannot believe I have just witnessed something like that! I have done A LOT of things in my life, but I have never beaten an innocent person before

After John did what he did to that poor man, he left him there all alone and in pain. He drove me back to Watford station and left.

I stood outside the station for what seemed like hours, just shell shocked. What have I done? Kept repeating itself over and over again in my head so I decided to do the decent thing and call an ambulance, pretending to be a passer by who saw the man.

What else am I gonna see? How many more victims am I gonna be involved with? And most of all, am I just gonna stand there next time or is he gonna force me to beat up some poor soul

The thought of it almost made me gag. I could not go home in this state of mind, so I decided to go to Oxford Street to clear my head as I always do. It is just something about that place that seem to always manage to make my day better.

As if witnessing battery was not enough, it started pouring rain all of a sudden. And when I say pouring, I mean LONDON POURING

I did not carry an umbrella so you can imagine how soaked I am right now! The funny thing is, I could have gone in Boots and bought myself one but I did not.

I wanted the rain to pour in my face and my body to erase this day, I just sat at a bench, took off my jacket and let the rain soak me from head to toe.

I saw people running towards bus stops, trying to shelter themselves from the rain and blowing air into their hands as it was close to freezing.

But I did not care about all that, I just wanted to die. I wanted to catch something and JUST die! All I kept hearing in my head was the sound of the poor man’s bones breaking.

I finally gave up when the rain stopped, at this point I felt cold so I decided to make my way home.

Sooner or later I have to go there, so I made my way to the 113 bus where all eyes were on me because of my wet clothes. I ignore the looks and the whispers and I decide to go on the upper deck to sleep all the way home, feeling the cold going through my bones

Shaimaa

I am feeling so weird and confused after my uncle dropped that bombshell on me. Why me? This is a massive responsibility!! He should have told his wife or his son, NOT ME! I barely know any of them

And I am supposed to not tell anyone about this? How could I? ANYTHING could happen to him.

Maybe I just need to calm myself down, maybe this whole thing is just nothing really. He DID say that they are gonna run tests! Yeah Inshallah it is nothing more than a stress related issue.

Phew! I feel soo much better already. In fact, I feel so much better that I go downstairs to look for food.

I know I always think about my belly! But I have been raised in Egypt, and in Egypt food is like passion.

You have to FEEL the food when you are cooking, you have to be able to taste the food even before you have had the chance to put in your mouth

Food is FOOD in Egypt. All this talk about food is making me really hungry, so I am left with no choice but to go downstairs and hunt___I mean look for food

I go in the kitchen and I find nothing!! Nothing is cooked. I think to myself that maybe I should go ahead and cook something for them, so I head to the freezer to see if there is anything that resembles meat or chicken.

Nope, NOTHING! Do these people eat paper for lunch or something? Ya Ilahi, what am I supposed to do now??

I look for my mother in law or uncle to ask them about lunch, but I could not find any of them. My heart skips a beat when I realize that my uncle is not home.

Is he lost? Does he remember where he is? Wallah I am torturing myself with these thoughts. I have GOT to get myself a cell phone to call him, otherwise I'm just gonna kill myself with these thoughts.

I finally give up my search for food and I head upstairs. And that is when I hear the front door opening, I turn and see that it is the cleaner from this morning carrying shopping.

Oh goody! Maybe she will have an explanation about the mystery of the missing food

“Hi, it’s me again. How are you?” I ask her cheerfully

She hesitates for a minute then she says.

“Hi”

“My name is Shaimaa, What’s yours?” I ask her hoping to make friends with her so she can tell me how this house works.

“Magdalena” She replies with a smile.

“That’s a lovely name” I compliment her because really it IS a nice name, I am not lying wallahi

“Thank you, sorry I no speak good English” She says it with a heavy Polish accent.

“Oh that’s alright. Do you know what happened to lunch? I mean do they eat lunch in this house?” I ask eagerly

She does not answer, but she goes in the kitchen and comes back with a piece of paper

“What is it?” I ask her looking at the paper curiously

“Takeaway. They eat takeaway. You want?” She asks me.

I look at the menu and I see that it’s kebab shop called Kebabish, what a lazy name! Could they not come up with a less OBVIOUS name

“Kebab sounds perfect. Let’s order it” I inform her, before I reach for the phone.

“No we no eat together! Mrs Fifi no like” She says petrified

“Is Mrs Fifi coming home soon?” I ask her.

“No, she go Manchester” She replies.

“Manchester? Why?” I ask surprised

“Wedding” She answers.

“Well, if Mrs Fifi is not here then let’s eat together. I promise I won’t tell her, it’ll be our secret” I tell her hoping I would have some company as I am really bored

She reluctantly agrees, then I call the number on the menu and order a mixed kebab doner for me and she orders Shish Tavuk.

Man, I can already feel the food even before it arrives I go and help her unpack the shopping bag, and she still looks at me like I have lost my mind!

The takeaway arrives and we sit in the living room, she finally relaxes around me as she puts the TV on.

There is a soap opera on called Eastenders, apparently it is the number one soap in England. 

I watch it and I get fascinated by the accent

They speak weird! But I understand that there are two ladies who had a baby at the same time, but one of the babies dies.

And while they are celebrating the New years, one of the ladies decides to swap her baby with the other one while the other mum was rushed to hospital

She took him while everyone was getting drunk!!

“YOU SEE! THAT’S WHY WINE IS HARAM” I tell Magdalena to make her see my point.

“Haram?” She asks puzzled

“You know, wrong, arrghh bad ” I explain to her in animation what Haram means but she does not get it and quite frankly she looks a little bit scared from the arrghh look I used.

At that moment Osman walks in. He looks at us, ignores us and goes straight upstairs

How rude! Who cares I have my new best friend anyway

Oh wait, my new best friend looks like she is going home

“I go home now, Tomorrow I come” She tells me with a smile that says I am cool

After she goes I decide to stay watching TV, because I do not wanna go upstairs and face Osman.

He is probably gonna leave in a minute to waste another day, so might as well wait here. I wanna make sure my uncle is back as well, as it is getting late (8 o’clock) and he is not back yet

Is this normal? Does he come back from work later than this? 

Aarrggh the worry is eating me alive here!

It pains me to say this, but I guess I am gonna have to go upstairs and ask Osman to give me his phone to call my uncle

Osman

I am freeeeeezing cold man I guess I should have expected this! But still, I am like shaking uncontrollably!

I change my soaked clothes and wear my pyjamas, and go under the duvet to warm myself up. Obviously no going out tonight

It is not working! I am still shaking like a leaf! Serves me right for opening my jacket. I try and close my eyes to drift off to sleep, but I hear a knock on the door.

I try to ask who it is but no words come out!

Finally the person on the other side gives up and comes in anyway. Of course no question who it is right? It is her, the annoying ninja

“Just wanted to ask if I can borrow your cell phone to call someone” She tells me arrogantly

I point towards my jacket, and do not say a word. And boy do I wanna deliver some of my sarcasm comments to her

“What is wrong with you? The cat got your tongue has she?” She asks pretending she does not care that I look like I sm ignoring her

I say nothing and this time she gets really angry

“Listen, when someone addresses you. The polite thing to do is to answer back” She turns to face me and her eyes grows wide.

“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? Why are you shaking like that?” She asks concerned.

“It__was raining and I___d d d didn't have an umbrella” I stutter as I answer her, forgetting to mention that I actually took off my jacket on purpose

“Ya Allah! Look at you! Hold on a minute. Let me get an extra blanket” She takes her blanket and puts it on top of mine.

“W wwhat about you?” I ask her.

“I’ll be fine, I’ll find something else Inshallah. Do you feel any pain anywhere?” She asks looking at me worryingly.

“My bones” I reply.

“What do you people take here in England for pain relief?” She asks.

“P pparacetamol” I reply.

And with that she dashes downstairs to find it. She appears after a minute with the medicine and water in her hand.

She hands them to me but I shake so much, that she decides that she will put the pills in my mouth instead. But ninja being ninja, dangles the pill aiming it to my mouth because she does not wanna hold my head

She supports my head with a pillow behind me, and I drink the water.

I rest my head, and my eyes starts drifting to sleep. The last thing I hear was ninja’s voice

“I'm right here, don’t worry” She says.

And I give her a weak smile before going into what looks like a terrifying days ahead

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Posted in: Alawiya Abdalla,Aysha,Chapter 16,Khalifa,Mohamed,My Wife is a Ninja,Osman,Shaimaa,Short Story