Dec 9, 2013

Raising a daughter in Islam- Part 2

by Arty 

Part 1


Daughters, if raised properly, can be a source of tremendous blessings for their parents. We therefore want to make sure to try our best in making sure our daughters are raised upon the deen (religion). This is a continued discussion on how to raise a daughter in accordance with Islam.


Set aside some time and have a study circle at home with your daughters. The pursuit of education and knowledge was made incumbent on every Muslim, male and female, more than one thousand four hundred years ago.

Every girl has a right to an education and she is allowed to seek knowledge which will benefit her in this world and the hereafter. She is expected to make a positive contribution to society by applying her skills in the service of her family and society.

Our beloved Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wassallam, said,

“Seeking knowledge is mandatory for every Muslim.” (Tirmidhi)
As mothers, it is our duty to make sure the knowledge our daughters garn is beneficial for this life and the next. Teaching our girls how to make dua to protect themselves when they enter the home, leave it, go to sleep, among others, is an important aspect of their education. Dua is the weapon of the believers, so what better way is there to prepare your daughters for the struggles of this life and the next. Also, Juzz Amma tafseer, Riyadus -Saliheen and other books of hadith, books on the seerah of Prophet Muhammad, sallAllaahu alayhi wassallam, on the women around the Messenger and the women promised Paradise are great books with which to start your study circle at home inshaAllah. 

As they get closer to the age of maturity, important Fiqh pertaining to woman should be introduced. As women, it is vital that we know when we can pray or not, what to do to cleanse ourselves after menses and impurities. Our daughters should be taught these matters as soon as they start showing signs of maturity.

There is also a need for our daughters to undergo worldly education. Indeed, keeping hijab in mind, there is a need for women to work especially in some fields such as teaching, nursing and medicine, clothing, grooming and so forth.

The reason why we should look into what our daughters major in is because the basic principle in Islam for us women is to stay in our houses (Qur’an 33:33), although, women may go out when they need to as per the hadith:

“And permission has been given to you to go out for your needs.” (Muslim) 

A career in which the woman spends most of her time outside her home than inside, will greatly impact her role as the ‘guardian’ of the household. We need to make sure our daughters understand that whatever career they choose must be compatible with their responsibility as future wives and mothers. Indeed, we will not be asked why we did not choose a career for ourselves, however it is clear in the narrations of our beloved Prophet, sallAllaahu alayhi wassallam, that we will be asked how we cared for our spouses, our homes and our children.

Ibn 'Umar radiAllahu anhu reported that the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wassallam said, "All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock… A man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for his subjects. A woman is the guardian of the house of her husband and of his children and is responsible for them…. Each of you is a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock." (Muslim) 


We should teach our daughters to limit their interactions with the opposite sex as soon as they are aware of the different sexes. We should also teach them whom amongst the relatives they can freely interact with and whom they should keep a distance from. We also need to make sure our daughters’ friends are a positive influence on them. If we want our daughters to be on the straight path, we need to know whom they play with and how their friends are being raised at home. If our daughters’ friends are being raised without Qur’an and Sunnah, how can they be a good influence on our daughters?

“A man is upon the religion of his friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.”
 (Jami at-Tirmidhi)

May Allah bless us with righteous daughters and may they be a reason for us to enter Jannah as per the hadith:

Jabir ibn Abdullah radiAllahu anhu reported: The Messenger of Allah sallallaahu alayhi wassallam said, “Whoever has three daughters and he cares for them, he is merciful to them, and he clothes them; then he will enter Paradise.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, what if he has only two?” He said, “Even two.” Some of the people thought that if they had said to him one, he would have said even one. (Musnad Ahmad: 13835) 

What are some other tips to raise our daughters in Islam?

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below!


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