Raising a daughter in Islam - Part 1

by Arty

Part 2

Bismillah 

When a girl is born, it is a sign of honor for the parents. She brings blessings with her into the home and Allah Ta’ala’s rahmah descends upon the family.

It is mentioned in a hadith that our beloved Prophet sallAllahu alayhi wassallam said,

Whosoever maintains two girls until they attain maturity, he and I will come in the Day of Judgment like this.” (And he joined his two fingers held together). (Muslim)

Daughters, if raised properly can indeed be a source of tremendous blessings for their parents. We therefore want to make sure to try our best in making sure our daughters are raised upon the deen (religion). The first step in ensuring this is to choose the right spouse for yourself:

1) CHOOSING THE RIGHT SPOUSE 

The first right of the child in our shariah (Islamic law) is that we choose the right spouse, a spouse who will be a great father to our children. A spouse whose main focus is to follow Qur’an and Sunnah, and someone who will try his best to emulate the Prophet sallAllahu alayhi wassallam, who was a great father to his daughters. He, sallAllahu alayhi wassallam, was reported to have once said,

“ Faatimah is part of me and whoever angers her angers me.” (Bukhari) 

A daughter raised with a loving father whose concern is that his daughter is happy in this life and the next has indeed received her first right to the full extent.

2) MAKING DUA FOR HER PROTECTION

Following the example of the mother of Mariam in the Qur’an, we should make the same supplication to protect our daughters and their offspring.

And I have named her Mary, and I seek refuge for her in You and [for] her descendants from Satan, the expelled [from the mercy of Allah]." (3:36) 

3) CREATING AN ATMOSPHERE OF FAITH IN THE HOME 

Home should be a place for the remembrance of Allah. Raising a daughter in Islam means that at home she is put in an Islamic environment. She should grow up in a home where Allah is remembered, a house filled with the recitation of Qur’an as well as with lessons on the sahabas, on the prophets and on how to follow her deen. School teachers will tell you, it all starts at home!

“... and make your houses [facing the] qiblah and establish prayer...” (10:87) 

The daughter in the home must witness the mother praying her five prayers, reading Qur’an, learning about the deen, interacting with strange men in a manner that is Islamic, and respecting her husband. Whatever the parents do, the children absorb, thus a mother needs to watch her moves around her daughter.

4) ENCOURAGING YOUR DAUGHTERS TO GIVE CHARITY

A scary hadith warns believing women to increase in charity so that we may be saved from the hellfire. Our Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa salaam, said,

“O Women! Give in charity for I have seen that you form the majority of the inhabitants of Hell.”   (Bukhari)

A good way to teach our daughters to give from an early age is to have a box at home for donations. Encourage them to put a portion of whatever money they receive in the box and at the end of the month, use that money to feed or clothe the poor. Seeing other children who are in worse living conditions has a great impact on our children; they learn to be more humble and grateful for what they have. It also instills in them the love of giving and helping others.

5) BUILDING THE LOVE FOR HIJAB AND MODESTY IN OUR DAUGHTERS 

Living in the West you cannot help but notice how clothes for little girls are getting more and more indecent and inappropriate. The society is trying to turn our girls into miniature versions of women who dress with no shame. The skirts are short, the pants are tight and the tops are revealing. How will we teach them ‘hayaa’ (modesty) if we fall in this trap of dressing them this way when they are young. Why should we expect them to love hijab overnight at the age of 12? 

Everything in nature is gradual, as is the upbringing of our daughters. Gradually, we need to make sure they dress appropriately, with long dresses, loose clothes, and hijab so that it will be natural to them when the time to dress this way becomes mandatory.

Look out for part 2 of this topic where we will continue to discuss "Raising a daughter in Islam" InshaAllah.

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post comments in the section below!

Posted in: Arty,Charity,Children,daughter,faith,hijab,raising children