Short Story: MY WIFE IS A NINJA CHAPTER 13 ~ Habibi Halaqas

Nov 3, 2013

Short Story: MY WIFE IS A NINJA CHAPTER 13

9:00 AM farh 7 comments

Bismillah

Shaimaa

“THERE’S A GUY AND HE’S HOLDING A GUN, HEEELPPPP” That was what I was supposed to be saying right at this minute. Sadly no words came out of my mouth! This always happens to me when I am faced with danger or fear.

I always freeze, my heart beats so fast until I am unable to breathe. I try to scream or shout but the words gets stuck in my throat literally.

My mind goes back to that fateful night in Egypt, I recall how I tried and tried for words or screams to come out of my mouth but I just froze like I was dead or something.

I only realized what happened when I got home, and I totally broke down. I kept blaming myself for not reacting the right way, I kept imagining a different ending to my ordeal but that was not the case.

And here I am faced with the same situation,I feel my whole body fill with fear the same way it did that night. I didn't even notice that Osman was huddled up with the rest of the customers on the floor.

“NO ONE SCREAMS OR I’LL BLOW YOUR HEADS OFF!” Orders the man with the gun.

“YOU! Go and close the doors and then come with me and empty the tills and put money in this bag. If you do anything stupid I’ll kill you, Do you understand?” He glares at this guy who looks like he works for the bank, before he pushes him towards the till.

And then it hit me!! He did not notice me! I guess that Osman WAS right, I do look like I blend in with this wall!!

Okay, I do not know what to do now?? Maybe I should just let him carry on with his business and do nothing. Or I could do something, and prevent something awful that might happen.

The guy is carrying a gun!! He could fire it at anyone! I was contemplating what to do when I remember a hadith

“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer although there is good in each. Desire that which will bring you benefit, and seek help from Allah and do not give way to incapacity. If something happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such-and-such.’ Rather say, ‘The decree of Allah. He does what He will.’ Otherwise you will open yourself up to the action of Shaytan.” [Muslim]

My mind is made up, I will have to do something right this minute. But how and WHAT?

OH YEAH I KNOW WHAT TO DO!! I take something out of my bag, and I pray to Allah that it is enough to let me bring down this incredibly giant man who’s wearing a mask which makes him look even MORE scary!!

I slowly start taking steps towards him, I edge closer and closer until the moment comes when I just have to do it.

This is it!!

Osman

OH MY GOD I AM GONNA DIE! WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE THAT’S FOR SURE!!! I have never been so scared in my entire life.

The guy just pointed the gun towards us all, and we obediently fell to the ground of fear for our lives. I look around and I see horror and desperation in their eyes, they are all probably wondering if he is going to let them go or finish them off anyway as they normally do *Gulping really loudly*

I look around to see where ninja is and I cannot find her anywhere. Where is she? She is not hard to miss! OMG SHE SOMEHOW LEFT?? Maybe she really IS a ninja!!

Just as I was wondering where she went, I see her holding SLIPPERS and walking slowly towards the thug who is pointing a gun to the poor guy who works in the bank.

She is crazy! She has lost her mind! He is sooo gonna shoot her. I do not know what to do! If I move I will only alert him to turn around, the only thing I can do is NOTHING.

I can NOT stop watching as she is finally RIGHT behind him. She goes closer and closer and closer and then

WHACK! Followed by
WHACK WHACK WHACK AND SOME MORE WHACK

The guy was so shocked he dropped his gun, and when he turned around and saw ninja he absolutely lost his balance! He looks like he saw a ghost or something, I do not blame him!!

“YA HEMAR” Said ninja repeatedly as she launched the beatings with the erm slippers.

I get myself off the floor to help her before the thug gets his strength back. I throw the gun across the room, and I hold his hands backwards and ninja is STILL beating him up!!

“Enough ninja!” I order her to stop.

She listens to me, and she seems breathless from all the hitting. The thug tries to struggle from under my grasp, but at this point more guys crowded him and a lady offered her scarf for us to tie him up.

One of the staff was on the phone to the police, and a look of relief spread across everyone in the room. I was so relieved that I'm still alive and I was also so grateful for ninja’s help, but there’s no way in hell I'm gonna admit it to her.

“I DID IT!! I BEAT UP A VERY BIG MAN! I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT” She kept repeating the phrase and running towards the exit door.

“Madam, you need to wait” Yelled one of the staff towards ninja but to no avail.

“WOOHOO I DID IT” She kept saying it and punching the air in victory. Oh gosh there’s no stopping this girl of making a scene!

“OI NINJA! I'm all for celebrating and all but EVERYONE is looking at you” I stated the obvious as hundreds pair of eyes were looking at the jumping muslim lady!!

“Oh sorry, This is THE best day EVER” She tells me in a low voice.

“Cool but can we get to the car and go home now, I'm pretty traumatised and tired if that’s ok with you” I plead with her.

“Sure” Was what she said before she entered the car.

BOY THAT WAS A VERY TIRING AND UNEXPECTED DAY!!!!

Khalifa

I am sitting in my GP’s office explaining the symptoms that I was having, causing me to be concerned for my health. I kept looking up at my doctor to see if I could tell from his expression if it was serious, but he gave nothing away.

“Doctor Saraf, could it be Alzheimer’s disease?” I asked him after I finished explaining the symptoms to him.

“Well Mr Khalifa we cannot just jump into conclusion without running the necessary tests” He explains.

“But is there a chance that it could be that?” I ask him eagerly.

“Well, it could be that or Dementia or it could simply just be that you might be overstressed. It really could be ANYTHING at this point, but what I suggest in the meanwhile is you must confide in someone about your situation” He replies.

“I'm not going to do that” I say sharply.

“IF it IS what you fear, then it’s really advisable for you to do so Sir. Alzheimer’s disease is not an easy illness to deal with, and I'm STILL not saying that you have it but if it turns out that you do have it things will go downhill rapidly. You might not even remember where or who you are sometimes and that could be very frightening experience for yourself and your beloved ones” He explains the reality to me.

“I’ll think about it” I admit defeatedly.

I leave the office like I am in a limbo or something, the doctor mumbled something about having blood tests done and a CT scan ASAP.

It is what I was scared of!! Alzheimer’s or Dementia or whatever it is are not an easy illness to have to deal with!! How can this happen to me???

But the question is WHO am I gonna confide in???

Shaimaa

I cannot believe what I did!! Alhamdulilah Ya Allah, I feel so brave now all of a sudden. Now I know that I can face danger head on and not freeze or freak out.

I have a HUGE smile on my face right now, I know it is like nothing to some people but this is actually a big step for me. I'm not trying to sound arrogant either, but what happened to me back in Egypt really knocked me and this is like a new me.

I was lost in thoughts when Osman interrupts them by saying

“So, you carry slippers all the time just in case??”
“Of course, it’s an Egyptian thing you won’t understand it” I reply.

“No DO explain I'm quite interested” He waits eagerly for my answer as he is driving the car.

“Well, it goes waaaaay back to the Mamluk period when they ruled Egypt. There was this queen called Shagarat ul Dur, and she was powerful and I THINK she ruled Egypt I'm not sure”

“Anyway, she was very strong and powerful and she married this guy I don’t remember his name to be honest because history wasn't my favourite subject. She was very possessive of him, but she loved him at the same time. But he always felt like he wasn't a man, because she ruled Egypt and all that. So he went and married someone else behind her back, he had kids from the other woman”

“When the queen found out, she killed him and his wife and his kids. BUT when her husband’s family knew what SHE did to their son, they sought revenge. All the women of his family went to her palace with slippers on their hands and started hitting her with it until she died” I finish the story.

“Are you telling me that a plastic slippers killed her?? That’s nonsense!” He asks.

“Who said it was plastic, it was WOODEN” I explain.

“OUCH!! That MUST have hurt! So why are YOU carrying slippers everywhere?” He enquires.

“Well, I love that story and I thought carrying a slipper is so much better than carrying a gun or knife to protect myself” I answer his question.

“Why do you need to protect yourself? Is it that dangerous in Egypt?” He asks.

“Where I used to live, yes” I tell him while lowering my gaze as I felt a pinch of fear in my stomach.

“Are you Ok?” He asks concerned.
“I'm fine Walahi” I assure him.
“But don’t put yourself in danger like that again man. That was crazy!” He reminds me.
“It saved your life! WHICH by the way you didn't even thank me for it” I turn to him.

“Well____ ” He tries to say it.

“Say it” I egg him on.
“I will just as I turn at this corner” He dodges it again.
“Say it” I remind him again.
“Oh look at that cat, do their owner know that he’s out?” He tries to change the subject.
“Say it” I remind him while looking at the cat. THAT IS ONE SCARY CAT!

He doesn’t say anything this time soooo I
“Say it”
“Say it”
“Say it”
“Say it”
“Say it”

“FINE. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUU. Happy?” He finally gives in.

“No I'm not” I reply.
“And why is that your highness?” He asks sarcastically.
“You should thank Allah not me” I inform him.
“YOU’RE the one who saved us all!” He reminds me.

“Yeah but nothing happens without Allah’s blessing, So Thank Allah by saying Alhamdulilah” I order him.

“You’re not my mum!” He reminds me of this very OBVIOUS fact.

“Say it”
“Say it”
“Say it”
“Say it”
“Say it”

“OKAAAAY, ALHAMDULILAH. Happy??” He says it loudly.
“NOW I'm happy” I smile.

He looks at me and says

“You know you’re one funny crazy person right? Please tell me you’re aware of that” He tells me while giving me a really genuine smile and not those sarcastic ones he uses all the time.

“Someone mentioned it once to me” I reply and feeling my cheeks BLUSHING?????
“I hope you have more of those stories. Who knew slippers had such history” He says laughing.

I could not hear what he said because I was thinking______
WHY IN THE WORLD AM I BLUSHING??? WHY? WHY WHY WHY???

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