Short Story: MY WIFE IS A NINJA CHAPTER 8 ~ Habibi Halaqas

Sep 29, 2013

Short Story: MY WIFE IS A NINJA CHAPTER 8

9:00 AM farh 2 comments

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Bismillah

Shaimaa

It has been three months since my Nikah to Osman was finalised. The day of the Nikah was so weird for me, because my mum and dad were sooo happy for me but all I wanted to do is tell them the truth.

Then I remind myself why I am doing this in the first place, I am doing this for them. My “HUSBAND” was a complete joke! He was busting jokes to my family in English, when they do not understand a single word!

And he kept asking me to show him my face, and I refused because part of the plan was that this marriage was in paper only. So why should I show my face to someone I am going to divorce in a year’s time??

He can keep dreaming! And my uncle explained that my “Mother in law” does not know about the will or the inheritance money, so we need to act like a normal couple infront of her! That is going to be tricky! And the worst thing is we have to share a room.

How can I share a room with this joke of a man? And what if he tries and….

I think I need come up with a plan, to keep this MORON away from me! And I THINK I know EXACTLY what to do.

During the three months, my uncle and Osman went back to England to prepare the paperwork for me to come in the country.

Now all that is left is for me to go to the airport and wave goodbye to my family TODAY!!

“Is this it sweety? You’re leaving us?”, asks mum choking up from the tears coming down her cheek.

“Ummi, please don’t say that. I'm not leaving you guys, I'm going to England to find a job so you don’t have to work ever again Inshallah”, I remind her.

“And don’t forget your husband”, says dad, wondering why I had not mentioned him.

“Yeah and him of course”, I say, feeling stupid for not stating the obvious to prevent them from suspecting anything.

“Hunni, I want you to take good care of Osman and his family. I want you to treat his mother and father with the utmost respect, just they way you treat us because they are you’re new family”, my dad reminds me of my duties.

“Of course I will dad Inshallah”, I obey my dad’s wishes, but feeling guilty for not letting know the truth.

“I guess this is goodbye?”, he asks and he starts welling up as well!

“Dad please don’t cry, I can’t handle seeing you cry! I promise I’ll visit as soon as I can afford a plane ticket walahi I will”, I promise them with tears running down my cheek thick and fast.

“Why do you keep talking as if you’re a single girl. You have a husband now, he will help you for sure. Right?”, he asks suspiciously.

“I guess I'm just not used to being married yet, that’s all dad”, I reassure him.

“Ok daughter, Fi Aman Allah”, he tells me as I bend down to hug him and I just cannot let go of him.

I turn and hug my mother, and she looks at me as if she wants to remember my features so she will not forget me!!

I leave my home, and for a split second I want to turn around and run back inside to tell my mum and dad the truth. But I remind myself that I'm doing this for them….

Ya Allah, Help me with this journey that I'm about to embark as No one knows the unknown but YOU, Ameen.

Osman

OH MY DAYS! NINJA IS ARRIVING HERE IN LESS 10 MINUTES!

My dad went to the airport to pick her up, he said it was because he wanted to make her “feel at home”. I am thinking, Yeah right! It is all to do with the money. He wants to make sure she will not freak out and run back to Egypt.

Have to say when we told my mum three months ago that I have done my Nikah in Egypt, She flipped. She was cursing and swearing at my dad for allowing Shaimaa to trap me into marrying her, without her inspection first.

So me and my dad thought that for health and safety reasons, we will not tell her about the ninja thing just yet. We will make it as a surprise for her!

And how am I feeling? NOTHING. I could not give a damn to be honest, I do not care if she is coming and I do not care what is she going to do once she arrives.

I am not planning to be her friend and take her out and stuff. If she was not wearing THAT THING I was actually gonna consider being nice to her, and take her out and maybe do husbandy stuff with her ;)

But NAH, that thing is a turn OFF for me thanks! And the feeling is mutual from her side as well so I am not being mean here!

Although, that would not stop me from annoying her :D I know these girls are like strict and stuff, so it would be fun to hold her hand and see her jump and mutter vodoo stuff under her breath (Laughing at the thought in my head)

Oh this is gonna be fun! Just as I was laughing I get a phone call from Amber my “girlfriend”.

“Hey babe what’s up” I say as soon as I pick the phone.

“ I'm FINE, Ozzy DON’T mess me about yeah? I heard from Kev that you got married?”, she asks in an angry tone.

“So? it’s just a business deal alright! Stop freaking out. I told you millions of times I do what I want WHEN I want, and I don’t like clingy chicks”, I remind her of my principles.

“I'm not just a chick. I'm your girlfriend and I have the right to know”, she starts warbling.

“No, I told you we’re in an OPEN relationship. Go look up the term in your dictionary”, I start getting agitated at her voice.

“Well maybe I wanna be exclusive. I don’t anyone to have you but me”, she demands.

“Go and find someone else then! You know my rules and if you don’t like it, tough luck”, I tell her just like that.

“You would give up on me just like that?? You wouldn't fight for me??”, she starts crying.

“Oh for god's sake! I hate all this drama Amber. You’re giving me a headache!!”, I say it while getting bored with this conversation already!

“I'm sorry I won’t talk like that anymore I promise. I just love you so much that’s all and I don’t wanna share you with anyone. But if it upsets you I won’t mention it anymore” She finally calms down.

“Good girl. Now I have to leave because my business wife is here”, I tell her upon hearing the door bell.

“Ozzy”, she calls my name.
“Yes?”, I reply.
“I love you”, she tells me.
“Sure. Thanks”, I reply as I always reply to that phrase.

I hurry downstairs quickly to stop my mother from seeing Shaimaa! I do not know for how long I can keep hiding her, but we need to keep Shaimaa to be happy if she is going to go ahead and survive a year in this house.

I do not know, maybe we can hid her in a tower like Quasimodo or something! I know not a good idea since we do not have a TOWER!!

I see her at the door with my father, and I quickly greet her and tell her

“Hi, let’s go to my bedroom”

“TO YOUR WHAT?”, she asks horrifyingly.

“Not like that!! Errm let’s talk in my bedroom. Come on where did you think you were going to stay?”, I ask her whispering in case my mother comes downstairs.

“I AM NOT SLEEPING IN YOUR ROOM”, she says STILL shouting.

“Shuuuuush” I try and shush her but TOO LATE!!

My mum appears to be coming downstairs to check her out, HIIDEEEEEEEEEE

“So? Where is this…………………..”. my mum cuts her sentence short when she sees Shaimaa with the Niqab.

She just stands there with her eyes popped out, and she doesn't blink for SEVERAL MINUTES!

“Okaaaayyy Fifi, I'm just walking past you and taking my wife upstairs SLOWLY. And I’ll come down and speak to you when you start blinking again. Dad care to join us into welcoming Shaimaa to my room”, I look at my dad to come upstairs to explain to Shaimaa that she NEEDS to sleep in the same room if he doesn't want my mum to suspect a thing.

“Yeah ok. Fifi I’ll talk to you in a couple of minutes”, my dad tells her looking scared at her lack of blinking!

We go upstairs and my mum’s gaze does not leave Shaimaa’s side…………OH BOY THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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