Sep 1, 2013


By Alawiya Abdalla

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Things were not going really well in my shops, and I say so because the dreaded credit crunch has reached me as well. 

I thought to myself-
“Don’t worry Khalifa, people will still want go out and eat even if they don’t have money to spend”

It turns out they do not! Everyone is looking after their pennies. At first we had to cut back staff to save some profit, and then the cost of gas and electricity went rocket high so I decided I will have to shut down a couple of shops as it was getting too expensive to rent the places. Few months later I shut down two more shops, so that is FOUR of my shops closed. Now I am only left with two, and I am going to do whatever it takes to keep them running.

I just NEED someone to help me without having to pay them anything! Walah what is the point in having a SON when they are no use to you.

Osman is my only son, because my wife Fifi did not wanna “ruin her figure” with more kids as she always used to put it. You see my wife and my son only talk to me to ask for money, that is their number one priority in life. All they care about is their VERY expensive life style, that I have to work hard for in return to nothing from them. My wife likes to spoil herself and my son so much, that I always worry that he will end up completely ruined.

As much as I always used to warn her to look after him and not leave him to the nannies, she used to ignore my warnings and call me a bore. I mean I married this woman and she was not “High class” as much as she likes to pretend that she always was. Her real name is not even Fifi, she changed it when we officially became multi rich. You will never hear the end of it, if you call her by her real name by mistake! And as for my son. What can I say about him? Everything that is bad, he is doing it.

I try to turn a blind eye and pretend that I do not know what he is up to, but I know EXACTLY what he is doing. From smoking weed, to sleeping with girls to parties till 4 in the morning. You name it he does it, I do not wanna even think about the things that I do not know about!

Why would you not punish him I hear you wonder? I cannot, because deep down I wanna feel needed by my wife and my son even if it is just for money. I know that my wife did not marry me because she thought I was the best looking person to her. No, I know she only married me because I was rich at the time I proposed to her. I just made my first million back then, but that was enough to dazzle her. The truth is I need them to need me, otherwise I will be cast aside by them if I'm of no use to them.

That is why I will do whatever it takes to maintain and save the last remaining shops that I have. But it is getting harder, and I am getting closer to close one of the shops by each passing day. My wife’s and my son’s expensive life style is not helping either! They do not know anything about the fact that I closed the other shops. So my wife is continuing with organizing her super expensive parties every month, and my son is wasting his life away as well. The debt is mounting and there is nothing I can do right now, I tried borrowing money from the bank but I got declined because I'm already maxed out.

As I am sitting here lost in my thoughts I hear a knock on my door.
“Come in” I tell the person on the other side of the door.
“Sir, there’s a lawyer called Sharif waiting to see you” Says the polish lady who comes to clean our house everyday.
“Sharif?? ok I’ll be out in a sec” I reply to her.
Sharif?? who is he and what does he want?? OH NO, he better not be one of my relatives asking to be partners with me in business!! I hate those offers uff!!

I will just go and see what he wants anyway, because this one seems interesting as he is a “lawyer”. I go out to meet him, and I see a guy who looks like he’s in his fifties waiting and smiling as soon as I greet him.
“Salamu Alykum son” He greets me.
“Wa Alykum asalam. How can I help you?” I ask directly as I do not want to waste my time with non sense.
“I'm your mother’s cousin, and I'm also a lawyer. Your mother has left a will for me to present it to you and your brother, in the event of her death” He informs me.
”A will??” I ask curiously.
“Yes, she left you and your brother Mohamed a sum of one million pounds to be halved between you” He replies.

“REALLY??? ARE YOU KIDDING OR IS THIS FOR REAL??” I ask in astonishment not believing how this money could come at such great timing.
“No I’m not kidding, I wouldn’t come all the way here to joke with you son” He says with a hint of annoyance at my suggestion.

“Sorry, you just have NO IDEA how much this will help my business” I explain.

“That’s alright. Now where can I find your brother Mohamed?” He asks.
“My brother? Oh that’s OK. You can give me his half and I’ll pass it on to him, because he lives all the way in Egypt you see” I tell him thinking yeah right like I am going to give him a penny, I AM the one who looked after our mum all these years so I ALONE deserve the money.

“Your brother or his daughter Shaimaa have to be present for the will reading as part of the condition, so I release the money” He explains.
“What condition????” I ask, getting anxious from the turn of events.
“Your mother insisted that in order for any of you to get the money, your son Osman and Mohamed’s daughter Shaimaa MUST be married for at least a year and then they can do whatever they want after that” He informs me.

“WHAT??????????????????? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??” I ask feeling the blood rising to my brain.
“What it means is that I have to see a marriage certificate that lasts for a year or a divorce paper in a years time for you and your brother to get your halves” He tells me.
“That’s NONSENSE. You can’t do that!!!!! I’ll contest the will in court saying that my mum was not in her right mind” I challenge him.
“You can do that sir, but your mum had her brain tested and got a certificate from a doctor to prove it. I can make the case go for years and the money will be hung in court” He explains smugly.

I say nothing and ask him to give me time to decide what to do. He leaves the house, and I sit here WONDERING what the hell was mum thinking doing this to me?

If I did not need the money I would tell him to STUFF IT, but I am desperate to get my hands on them. OH MY GOD I HAVE TO TALK TO MY BROTHER? and WORSE! I HAVE TO MARRY MY ONLY SON TO HIS DAUGHTER? Things could not be worse for me right now……….. I am sooo desperate that I am willing to marry my son to the one person I hate the most, but the question is will my son accept?

Meanwhile upstairs not realizing what went on downstairs, or the fact that his dad is planning his wedding Osman is sitting in his bed listening to Tinie Tempah pass out


Yeah (Yeah) we bring the stars out,
We bring the women and the cars and the cards out,
Lets have a toast a celebration get a glass out,
And we can do this until we pass out.

He mouths the words and sings along as if HE was the singer, he believes in every word that he is saying.

“One day people are gonna be singing my songs and shout OZZY OZZY WE LOVE YOUUU” Thinks 19 year Ozzy as he day dreams about that day.

Man, I am bored out of my mind here!! There is nothing interesting for me to do anymore. I mean ask me anything and I would tell you DONE IT. I have done almost everything a 19 year old boy is supposed to do. I lost my virginity, I smoke weed, I party till dawn so you see I have done EVERYTHING and now I am bored.

My life feels empty, and before you say why do not work for your dad. I will say, ARE YOU CRAZY? PLEASE he is supposed to work and bring ME money. Plus I will get bored, sitting in a desk and looking after the shop.

Nah man, I need something else. What could I do? what could I doo?
My thoughts get interrupted by a knocking on my door. I ask who it is and it turns out to be my dad,

“Oh great!! HEEREEE HE COMESSS TO WRECK MY DAAAAAAYYYYYYYY” I opera sing it in my head.

“Hey Ozzy, can I talk to you for a sec” Asks my dad as he enters the room.
“What’s up Khalifa” I answer him with his first name as I always call him.
“It’s dad warya!! Anyway I don’t have the energy to argue with you right now. I have a request from you”, he informs me while getting impatient.
“A request??” I ask.
“Yes. Don’t you think it’s time for you to settle down and get married?” He asks JOKINGLY I hope.
“Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” I stop gasping for air and then I continue with
“Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, Man you get funnier by the minute walahi” I reply while wiping tears of laughter.
“What’s so funny? I'm serious you useless person” He tells me seriously.
“You’re not joking? You’re actually serious about this? Do I look like a Mona or a Zahra to you? Dad, I'm a guy yeah. You can’t force me to marry now!!” I say in astonishment.

“Fine! How about you get married to this person and you GAIN something from it” He explains.
“You mean wink wink?” I ask cheekily.
“NO! I mean yeah of course wink wink but something else as well” He says.
“You mean more wink wink” I annoy him to make him uncomfortable so he can leave the room.
“OSMAN I'm serious. If you marry this person, I’ll give you £100.000 ALL yours” He suggests the VERY interesting offer.
“£100.000? FOR ME?” I ask not believing what I am hearing right now.
“Yeah, and you only need to be married to her for one year only” He continues with the explanation.
“That doesn't sound too bad at all, so who’s the lucky bride?” I ask getting excited about the money.

“Your cousin Shaimaa” He reveals her name


I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below! :)


Assalamualaykum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuhu,

Interesting story! I want to add something though.
Conditional marriage is haraam, brother. Please add a disclaimer as people might end up thinking it is OK to marry with divorce in their mind or have such conditions in their will.

People might do it all the time but Islam doesn't allow men or women to play with the lives of others, Walhamdulillah!
In this case, moreover, such a marriage (in the real world) would spell disaster and ruin the girl's life!

when is chapter 5 coming out or is already out, if it is, direct me to where i can find it please coz its amazing!!!!

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