Apr 14, 2013

Short Story: Where is My Khadija The Final Chapter Part 1

By Alawiya Abdalla

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It has been 2 weeks since I was rudely shaken from my beautiful dream and plunged into reality head on

I am walking around in a haze of sorrow and self pity, it is like someone has taken my heart out and stamped on it. Sometimes I would wake up at night unable to breathe

All this rumors and talk are seriously vicious, they are really hurtful and tearing me apart

I am hurting because they are dragging Aunty Halima’s family’s name in it!

The things I heard__

My alleged affair with Mohamed__

My liaisons with Ibrahim, who JUST got married

And worst of all, my late night visits to Ahmed

Ahmed does not even look at me, let alone__Astaghfurullah

Dada Fawziyah heard as well and it broke her heart I did not go into too much detail as to what they were saying, but it is enough to make her worried.

This is all Saydi’s fault, he told me so bluntly at Ibrahim’s wedding. He also made some serious threats against Mohamed

Is not tarnishing my reputation bad enough? Why would he do that? And how did he know I had feelings for Mohamed!!

The man is evil in it is pure form

I just cannot believe that my time here is going to end this way

I cannot let him harm Mohamed!! I did not take that decision lightly

I took it after I traced my hands on my scars, it was a cruel reminder of what Saydi’s is capable of. I cannot be the reason he harms Mohamed__

I will do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening__

Even if it means marrying that leech Habibo I just have to do it__


Just when I thought some people cannot get any lower, someone goes and proves me wrong___

Apparently they can

What is with all these rumors going around about Habiba and us? They are so vile and quite frankly disgusting

What did the poor girl do to deserve all of this? she has been nothing but respectful and sweet.

This whole thing is affecting the whole family badly, especially me__

You see I do not know how or when Habiba went from being A girl to THE girl

She just has that inner elegance that I used to see in Khadija.

The way she carries herself, despite all the heartache she had is admirable and it would make any guy fall in love her

I love her__

I really do__

I still carry a torch for Khadija in my heart, and that will take a long time to heal but I have known Khadija less than I have know her in my lifetime.

The time spent apart from her is more than the time I have spent in her company

It is very sad, and I am devastated that it has come to this but I have to move on from this. Habiba needs me now__

Who would better suit me as a wife than her, plus the woman is an EXCELLENT cook and I am sorry__

But I like my food

I HAVE to speak to Dada Fawziyah, I have to explain myself as I feel like the worst person on the face of earth

I just pray to Allah that she understands

I hope she understands that Habiba is The girl for me.

I have done Istikhara and everything, and my heart says I should marry that wonderful girl


Taking the decision to go back to Saydi’s house was one of the hardest thing I had to do

I have tasted freedom, and now I have to go back to that hell of a house if I did not know what freedom and a good life feels like, I would not have felt like this.

Depression is an understatement right now

I do not mind coming back to live with them__It is the marrying that leech Habibo part that is killing everything in my heart

I wish I never left in the first place__

I wish I never saw how beautiful my life could be it would have made this whole situation alot better

I would have believed that marrying Habibo is normal, and I would have grinned through my pain.

Being with the Abdalla family was a huge mistake, and most of all__

Falling in love with Mohamed was the biggest mistake of it all

My heart broke to pieces when I had to tell Dada Fawziyah, that I have to leave her and go back. I also told her that I accepted a marriage proposal, but I never told her who it is__

I just do not want her to think any less of me, and she never pressed me for information as she can see that I did not want to talk about the matter  :ermm:

If only she knew that I am doing this to protect Mohamed

The logical part of me is saying he is totally bluffing, but the abused part of me is yelling help Mohamed__

If anything happened to him or the family, it will all be my fault. I just cannot risk knowing that I could have stopped something bad from happening, even though it is all in the hands of Allah.

I just could not

And that’s why I am sitting here in my wedding gown, full of glitters and feeling so heavy on my body.

It feels like daggers through my skin This is so not what I would have chosen for my dress, my wedding dress would have been alot simpler.

But Habibo ordered Manafisa to give me this dress And I insisted to have the Nikah and the party done at their house, with only few guests__

This is not a joyous occasion for me, and I certainly do not want anyone to know about it

Alawiya and Zahra were very confused when I decided to come back all of a sudden, but Manafisa was being her usual weird emotionless self

When I came and asked Manafisa if I could say, she agreed straightaway

It is like she never chucked me out in the first place, somehow I feel like Saydi was behind her sudden change of mind about me

But I swear I will not make life easy for Habibo and Saydi

Yes I am being forced into this marriage under pressure, but I will make sure I make them pay for this.

I will Inshallah__

Just you wait fools


I have just arrived outside Dada Fawziyah’s house, and I feel like a nervous wreck

“So Dada. how is the weather? and talking about the weather, I just wanted to tell that I wanna marry Habiba,” I talk to myself outside her door again and about the weather AGAIN

“So Dada. Khadija is still in mind, but Habiba is in my heart now. What do you reckon?” I say, thinking I sound like I wanna buy some shoes or something and I need her opinion on it

What do you reckon?? who uses that??

“Well, you’re too late my son. She’s getting married today,” Dada answers me, opening the door to let me in



Habiba is getting married??

To who? It better not be Ali I will Karate chop him Walahi__

Not that I know how to do that, the guy is a Tae Kwon Do champion dude

Oh well, I’ll try my best then

“Dada. I love her,” I say it, defeat engulfing my soul

“I know Mohamed, I could see it from the both of your eyes. But I don’t understand her sudden departure, and the impending marriage. It’s all too sudden and weird.” She explains what happened, not blaming me once for my declaration of love towards Habiba.

“So you don't blame me Dada?” I ask her, just to make sure.

“No I don’t son. What happened to Khadija is unfortunate, but if I could have chosen someone other than her for you then it would have to be Habiba,” She tells me kindly “Plus I’ve still got Ahmed! I’ll bully him to marry my granddaughter when I find her Inshallah,” She says jokingly.

“It’s too late though,” I say it defeated.

“You can stop her. If you go to the Nikah.” She looks at me with an encouraging smile

“Yeah but she CHOSE to marry someone else,” I reply feeling kind of betrayed

“All she kept telling me is, she HAS to marry this nameless person. She HAS to, not WANT to Mohamed,” She says it, with a hint of impatience in her voice towards me.

“Yeah but___” I don’t get to finish my sentence as Dada yells,


“OK OK, I will go and try to stop this wedding” I reply, getting up to leave.

I was about to leave, when I decided to turn around and give Dada the biggest hug__


She wiped some tears, and gave me the address where the Nikah is taking place.

I look at the time and I see that it is 10 O’clock in the morning

I can make it if I run__

There was so much traffic when I came with my car on the way here__

So I run___

I run like I have ran before__

She just cannot marry him___

I have to tell her how I feel


The Sheikh has arrived and the Nikah is being performed

I am at my room shaking and holding back tears, waiting for the Sheikh to ask Saydi to come and ask for my permission.

No. Says my heart and soul, but I know that my tongue will say Yes

“You can still back out,” whispers Zahra in my ear.

“Yes you can,” says Alawiya, with sadness in her voice.

I just smile to them and say nothing. They will not understand, plus how could I disappoint them in their dad like that

As we were waiting in the room, with everyone celebrating around us__

We hear a sudden commotion in the living room, where the Nikah is being done

Everyone peeks to see what is going on__

I decide to join them as curiosity gets the best of me

I peek and I see the one thing I did NOT want to see___

Mohamed standing there, all breathless

What is he doing here, and how did he find out about this???

Go, please go__

This is gonna be harder than I thought    

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter.  Please post in the comments section below:)


ya Allah! pleeeeeease let this story have a happy ending!!! She just Has to marry mohammad! looking forward to the next chapter as usual..

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