My Modesty

By Shazia Arif

Bismillah 

Imagine when you arise from your grave, and you look around and realize that this is it. This is the day you had spent your entire life preparing for. The only thing on your mind now is your deeds. You are standing and anxiously waiting for your account to be taken. You see some rejoicing, while others remorseful over their hisaab. As more and more names are called, you breathe faster, you sweat more, your heart pounds and your entire body shakes. You feel like you are going to faint, but then you hear your name. You go for your hisaab, and you realize that every limb in your body talking. And then you realize all that your limbs talk about are the indecent things you made them do. The haram (unlawful) you made your eyes see, the music you made your ears listen to, the indecent speech you made your tongue speak, and the immodest clothing you made your body wear. And you realize that, this is it.

Defining Modesty

That was a scenario of what could possibly happen to someone who was not careful in guarding their modesty in the world. But what is modesty? The dictionary defines it as: regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc. Notice how even according to the dictionary modesty is in all aspects of one’s life. The perfect example of modesty is Yusuf aleyhi salaam. This prophet of Allah was given half of the world’s beauty! Yet he did not let this empower him, rather it was his modesty that empowered him which gave him the high status in the world as well as the hereafter. If Yusuf aleyhi salaam can use his modesty to empower him, should we not do the same?

First thing that comes to persons' mind when modesty is mentioned is dressing. It is common belief that dressing modestly, achieves the purpose of being modest. But if one’s actions does not co-ordinate with one’s dress then what is the point?

If a person is only dressed modestly, and his/her actions do not conform to the modesty of his/her dress, then what is the point of dressing modest? If one sees a modestly dressed person acting immodestly would that person be motivated to change their ways? It is like a policeman dressed in his uniform, but he crosses all the red lights in front of others. One would not be bothered to follow the law, because the one in authority does not do it.

First Things First

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest and to not display their adornment...”- (An-Nur: 31) 

Before the command of dressing modestly is given, the command of acting modest is given. Why? Because when one starts acting modestly, modesty in dress code follows quite naturally. It is in a woman’s nature to be dressed beautifully, but if the person given half the world’s beauty can be modest, then why can we not?

Modesty can affect your married life. This is something for both married and non married people to think about, how many intimate memories one would want their spouses to have with someone other than them. None right? But what about you, would your spouse want you to have intimate memories with someone other than him? Would you want that? Many people have this misconception, that it’s okay if one has their premarital fun, but when they get married they will be completely fine and committed to one person.

You may be thinking, if I keep myself pure and modest how can I be so sure I will get a spouse who is similar to me? Allah has promised this in the Qur’an!

“Impure women are for impure men and impure men are for impure women. Pure women are for pure men and pure men are for pure women.” (An-Nur:26) 

There we go. One will be married to the likes of themselves. But of course this does not give any of us the right to judge anyone, because after all only Allah knows what is truly concealed in the hearts.

Benefits of Modesty 

What else are the benefits of modesty? It is a way of gaining Allah’s closeness. How amazing is that? A simple act like this can give us closeness to Allah; the King of all Kings, the Master over all things. But how does modesty get you close to Allah? It is simple. Allah loves modesty!

It is narrated that the Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam said: “Verily, Allah the Exalted is Modest and Concealing (Sittir); and He loves modesty...- Abu Dawoud 

This attribute of modesty is associated with Allah subhanahu wata'ala. Just imagine! When you cover yourself, your actions, words, gestures you are actually doing an action which Allah loves so much that He decided to name Himself after it; Sittir (Concealing).

Modesty is more than just actions, it is a state of mind, something instilled within a person’s nature (fitrah) and they should use it and bring it out and not try to subside it within themselves, because only through this beautiful deed will one get modest spouses, and the closeness of Allah.

Start your change NOW! Find the immodest aspects of your life, and delete them out of your life one by one and in place add a modest act. Write these actions down and look back a few months from now and see how much you have really improved!

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below! :)

Posted in: Allah,Gender Related,Islam. society,My Modesty,Relationships,Shazia Arif,Sittir,spouse,Yousuf