Nov 29, 2012

Journey Of A Stranger - Part 1

By Amal Milaa Filza

Part 2 | Part 3




Bismillah



“Islam began as something strange, and it shall return to being something strange, so give glad tidings to the strangers.” [Muslim]


I needed a fresh start, I needed to be away from all of this.. Far far away. I wished to be freed from this cultural prison where religion is mistaken by society and where the truth has been concealed by obstinacy. How I longed to be in a place where I can drown in the deepest ocean of this perfect religion. Seeking only the satisfaction of the one and only God. None has the right to be worshipped only He who created the heavens and the earth. He who forgives us time after time and even after sinning still shades us with His ever-lasting mercy. For years I felt trapped in this messed up world, yearning for nothing but the love and acceptance of my Lord. Oh, how I love Him more, than I love my own.

For hours I could stare into the deepness of the sea. My reflection in the water sometimes seems so odd to me. The chains of this Dunya just would not set me free. I close my eyes and feel the wind against my skin, wishing it could wash away all my sins. I try to get closer to my Creator, I only want to please my Sustainer. The darkness is taking over and my reflection in the water fades away.

The brightness of the sun was slowly diminishing behind the horizon and I just stood there waiting for the perfect moment to disappear into the night. Doubts started to arise again but as I looked at the beauty of the twilight, which was turning into dusk I knew I could not go back. I could not go back to the place where I have been oppressed for all these years. I could not go back to the people who acknowledged the oneness and uniqueness of Allah subhaana wa ta'aala in terms of Him being the Creator yet failed to obey and worship none but Allah. Well at least I could not go back to them for now..

As I gazed at the waves of the sea, I have a slight shiver. My four-month journey would start today, a stranger’s journey seeking the satisfaction of Allah subhaana wa ta'aala. I felt excited and nervous at the same time. I was hoping to find the deepest depths of Islam during this spiritual journey and to return back home as a different person, a better person and believer. I then remembered the hadith where Allah subhaana wa ta'aala says:

“Take one step towards me, I will take ten steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you.” [Hadith Qudsi] 

I stepped into the boat and not once did I look back. I felt relieved.. I felt free.. A small feeling of anxiety aroused when I thought of what will be waiting for me on the other side. But with the thought of Allah all those doubts flew away and as I continued my way over the ocean, the only words on my lips: La Ilaha illallah Muhammad-an rasulullah. One last time.. I shiver..


I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below! :)

2 comments:

Curious to know the rest ;) Masha Allah your words are very touching..

JazakAllahu khairan! Im glad you liked it :D

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