Short Story: Letting Go (Part 1)

By Nur

Bismillah 

Amina woke up suddenly and gazed at her window. She could see the light beams streaming through the blinds and realized she had once again missed the Fajr prayer. At first when it happened she would shed tears upon tears and immediately face the qiblah and repent to her Lord, promising never to miss it again. But slowly she had become accustomed to missing the prayer that she just went about her day without feeling an atom's weight of guilt. She crawled out of her bed and went straight to the washroom, gazing at her newly plucked eyebrows and highlighted hair – she found herself beautiful now, especially that those bushy things were out of the way.

She had also started to wear tighter jeans and her hijab wouldn’t be covering her chest the way it used to. In fact her neck would be shown. She didn’t want to shock the kids at school too drastically by removing the hijab right away. She wanted to wait a few more weeks until she made that move, plus Tariq liked it. If Amina were to tell anyone that two months ago she was wearing an abayah, memorizing the Holy Qur’an, would not converse with men only for necessity and never missed a single prayer, people would think she was lying.

She got dressed quickly, and by now she was accustomed to her routine. First the foundation had to be applied throughout the face, then the concealer, after which the lips were to be lined with lip liner, lipstick then lip gloss. She grabbed an ample amount of blush and smothered it across her cheeks – she looked more innocent with it on. She placed her fake eyelashes on, and painted her eyelids with purple eye shadow (to match her shoes of course).

Before she left her room she grabbed her phone – still no text from Sarah. Amina had gotten into a fight with her former best friend Sarah about a week ago. Sarah was sick of Amina’s betrayal of lunch outings to be with Tariq and his friends. She was also not pleased that Amina stopped memorizing Qur’an with her, and she despised that all Amina had left to talk about was what Tariq had said to her, the latest episode of Gossip Girl and her weekly trips to the parlor.

Amina said to Sarah she wouldn’t miss her, but she did – she missed her friendly advice, their trips to the prayer room and their hijab shopping trips. Amina sighed and left for the bus, as soon she reached school she headed directly to her locker and waited for Tariq – it was their meeting spot. She hadn’t seen him since the last day of school before winter break and missed him ever so much. She felt like a loser just standing next to her locker, waiting. So she pulled out her phone and pretended to be occupied. Five minutes had passed, then 10, and finally the bell rang and there was no sign of Tariq anywhere. She shrugged and thought he was probably just late, so she went off to her chemistry class. She entered the room to the stare of her classmates round eyes – typical. This is what she got for coming through the front door and that hijab on her head. She stared back, and passed Sarah on her way to her seat without making eye contact.

“Welcome to Chemistry 30 class, I will be your teacher for this semester” Mr. Smith, her chemistry teacher said. Amina pulled out her phone and secretly checked it for notifications. But there wasn’t any text from Tariq. He usually told her if he’d be late or absent. She felt worried. She went to her next class, French, and still nothing from Tariq. Finally it was lunch time. Who was she to hang out with? No worries, she still had Tariq's friends to be with. She thought about it and smiled with relief. She walked down the clustered hallways and found Malik, Tariq's best friend. She went close to him and tapped his shoulder, “Hey, have you heard from Tariq?” she said. Malik turned around and faced her with a confused look and opened his jaw to speak, but no words came out.

“Is he alright Malik?” Amina said.

He shrugged, “I guess that’s none of your business.”

Amina rolled her eyes, turned around and walked away. She felt so dependent on Tariq. It was as if she was incomplete when he wasn’t there. She assumed his friends only accepted her when he did. The school day ended and she waited for the bus to come. She went on and took the window seat near the front of the bus. She laid her head against the window and sighed, feeling hopeless without Tariq by her side. As she peered out the window she saw someone awfully familiar. She saw Tariq. And he looked different.

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There will be a two more parts for this story coming up insha Allah. Find out what happened to Tariq and, most importantly what happens to Amina!

Posted in: Friendship,hijab,Love,Nur,Short Story