Apr 18, 2012

Kindness And Gentleness

By Asrar BenHoucine


Have you ever been treated rudely or disrespected in anyway? Maybe the lady at the cashier was rude to you or even a stranger bumped in to you without saying excuse me? How about a close one, someone you love hurt your feelings. Or maybe they were selfish and didn’t think what they were doing or saying impacted you in any way? Well I would like to talk to you today about kindness and gentleness and how it could change you into a better person, also how powerful it can be and contagious. This is a characteristic you will treasure forever as well as those around you will be lighted with your essence.

In order to help us reach the highest of perfection in kindness one most be more patient and wise in response and well mannered. In the remembrance of Allah Subhaana wa Ta’aala and the ability to look through what is being said. Anger could be just as a weakness as it could be strength and you know better than to let shaytan control you. You will gain much more from being kind. Our Prophet Muhammad sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam most valued characteristics/ lesson to us all has been somewhat forgotten. Being kind is what our prophet fought hard to show us as well as its importance. For one, whether they are worth it or not we have to remember that getting angry is a feeling made from Shaytan. So if we let him be in control, then we are no different from him. If we let these people who hurt us affect us in any way we are showing that they have control over things that they don’t. Only Allah has the ability to control what will or will not happen. Second, who are they and who are we to get upset over it? We must try our best to deal with pain in the best possible way and have manners doing it and of course actually mean it. I know we are not perfect and it’s not easy but this is a habit we all must try. I know that when we struggle to please Allah and to be pious Muslims, Allah will make all things possible one day and you will look back and see how difficult we tend to make things when they are very simple, when we put our mind and trust in Allah.

Speaking from experience, I have seen the difference in one who is close to Allah as to one who is far from him. Subhaan Allah, have you ever had someone be so rude to you and you not even raise an eyebrow in disgust but rather responded in such a way that made their mouth drop to the floor? Well…let me tell you, when you have Allah by your side and you are reciting his words and you are studying his book and you are learning and following his Sunnah, you feel like you’re literally floating. You become above all things. You have that knowledge, Islamic knowledge and it teaches you how to live, speak, act, and communicate with elders, the young. Everything, you name it and it is there. For example, if you swear up a storm, I’m sure that after studying Islam you will never swear again, you will be more intelligent and learn that there are better ways to express your thoughts and feelings. You will see how easy it is. But as long as you are far from your deen, then it will be very difficult to change, guaranteed.

Look at our Prophet Muhammed sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam he dealt with the worst kind of people and yet he handled it with the most kindness. Remember the story about the Jew next door? He threw garbage in Prophet Muhammed’s sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam’s backyard, until one day our Prophet didn’t see any trash in his backyard. He began to ask around about him…After finding out he was sick, what did our Prophet do? Did he laugh, and become happy? No, he became worried about him and paid him a visit. After seeing such kindness and generosity that our Prophet had, the man told him, your religion must be the truth and he then accepted Islam. (Sahih Al-Buhkari)

For one to practice kindness he must first practice Patience. This requires a great deal of strength and I’m not talking about the strength that comes in a six pack but the kind where you are the driver in the seat. We all think we can control others but the truth is we would be lucky if we can just control our selves. Alhamdulillah Islam teaches this. Here are some to start with.

Some actions of kindness.
· Practice Patience
· Smile at your brother as you pass him by aka Charity
· Serve your parents every chance you get, (oh, if you knew how much blessings from Allah Subhaana wa Ta’ala would give you for this.)
· Give away the thing you love the most. (Tough one!)
· Be kind to Animals.
· 'The finest act of goodness is the kind treatment of a person to the loved ones of his father after his death,'... (Muslim)
· Respecting your elderly. Even Allah respects the elderly, who are we to not?
· Show mercy to your young. Play with them.

Let me speak a bit about gentleness. Don’t we tell our children if they want something they must ask politely? Well this is where gentleness comes in. We Humans seem to work so much better when people are gentle. This is why woman sometimes take advantage with this technique because woman know that men will listen if she asks gently. Of course not all women, but I am just giving an example as to the strength of being gentle can give.

…the servants of the All-Merciful are they who walk upon earth gently, and when the ignorant ones address them, they say, "Peace!" (Qur'an: 25:63)

If you see yourself as an individual who would like to spread Islam then this is one of the main characteristics one must have. In order to win someone over or persuade them you would have to be kind and gentle in all means. Getting someone angry even if your right isn’t going to encourage them to continue to seek knowledge, in fact it could turn them away completely. Before we start thinking to be gentle to everyone, we should learn to start with our family. Every act of kindness starts there, and Allah is must Merciful, most Kind.

But may I say that not all people deserve to be gentle to. Those who are generous should be treated with generosity. Those who are not, well if they are harmful and will over power you then over power them. Otherwise refrain from ignorant people. I hope this has help to shed some light on kindness and gentleness how to become a better Muslim and as always this is a reminder to all of you as well as myself.

The Holy Quran, 25:63
Sahih Al-Bukhari


Ma sha Allah, what a beautiful topic. JazakAllahu khayr. The only problem is that the grammar could be fixed, otherwise, good job.

Jazak Allah khair. Ill speak to my editor :-)

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