Mar 6, 2012

Advicing Haraam Police: The Etiquette of Advising Others

By Yasmin Raja


One thing that really gets to me is Muslims, mentally bashing, other Muslims. This is, in particular, directed to those Muslims, especially Muslimahs who, all guns loaded, are ready to shoot at another Muslimahs, if they are to do something that is 'contrary' to Islamic beliefs and values. 

I don't understand why people automatically assume they will not get judged for written words, surely a written word is like a word said.

I have experienced many Muslims adopting a 'holier than thou' attitude, when another muslim man or woman decides to make a decision, in regards to faith, or how they practice their Deen. There always seems to be that 'group' of individuals, who believe they are the 'chosen ones' and live in a false pretense that their Daw'ah methods will guarantee them heaven and everyone else who puts a foot wrong is destined for hell. Otherwise known as the 'haram police'. Many Muslims, are subjected to written abuse, which can be extremely hurtful and also lead a person away from Islam.

Its so important to go back to the basics, the basics which have been set out in the Holy Qur'an that, no person, can be compelled to accept Islam;

“Let there be no compulsion in religion. Truth has been made clear from error. Whoever rejects false worship and believes in God has grasped the most trustworthy handhold that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Al-Baqarah 2:256)

Keeping this in mind, Allah swt also says;

“If it had been your Lord’s will, all of the people on Earth would have believed. Would you then compel the people so to have them believe?” (Yunus 10:99)

So, therefore I just wanted to quickly say, that logically thinking and a message to those Muslims that accept that we cannot argue with Allahs words, this is in the Holy Quran, so as to say 'set in stone' and just think for a moment that if Allah swt wanted us to be all perfectly practising muslims he would say 'Be' and it would be.

We cannot question Allah's knowledge. And let this not be an excuse to purposely wander off the right path and call it 'fate' as intentions cannot be hidden from Allah swt. But as an intelligent person, we Muslims should strive to better ourselves everyday and continue to make Dua and Tauba (ask for forgiveness)

The Prophet sal Allahu aleyhi wasallam said: "Whoever guides someone towards good, will receive the reward of the one who acts upon it." [Muslim]

If an individual decides to wear hijab or not wear hijab or decides to pray a certain way or not pray, words of advice should be given, those that kindly mention that to what is correct (not necessarily their opinions but what is says in the Quran and relevant Hadith). No additional footnotes or commentary that mentally bullies them and tells them they are a 'bad example for the whole of Muslims' or an 'insult to Islam'. And yes there are some worse than that I have read. That, of course is clearly unacceptable and such advice enters the spectrum of HATE and belittling people with cowardly intimidating attempts, are not a good reflection of what Islam preaches. Remember, Allah knows you're intention and if it is not to give Daw'ah - to help an individual stay on the right path - think again, for you cannot hide you're true intention from Allah swt.

Islam preaches positivity, as positivity breeds logic and awareness, which helps an individual find sense and morality and ultimately the Truth. Which these haram police, quite clearly know, is Islam. So being a brassy hypocrite and driving people away from the truth is not the right way and I hope their excuse isn't Daw'ah.

This does not mean however, out of fear of being merely discourteous to a person, one should not give Daw'ah at all. They should adapt a proper way. Here are some guidelines I have read from that offer tips on how Daw'ah should be offered.

General tips for Da'wah
  • The best Da'wah is to be a good example because people can see this without you having to talk to them. You should be a good example all the time, not just when doing Da'wah.
  • Don't be a hypocrite and not follow what you preach. For example:  how would it look if you tell people that Muslims can't drink alcohol and then they see you drinking.
  • Smell good
  • Don't act like you're better than the person or people you are giving Da'wah to.
  • Don't insult the person or their religion.
  • Don't tell them that they are wrong and you are right and that they are going to hell. But you have to be clear that the religion of the truth is the religion of Islam, and Allah doesn’t accept any other religions. And if a person dies in a state other than being a Muslim, he will be in the Hell Fire. This can be done in a wise way.
  • Don't get too deep in a subject you don't know much about, because if they have questions, you won't have answers.
  • Use common sense to explain Islam because much of Islamic ethics and rules are based on common sense and most people can relate to common sense.
  • Dress according to the Sunnah, since the Sunnah of the Prophet sal Allahu aleyhi wasallam has so much blessings in it, and do not imitate the disbeliever.
Remember I am not stating I am perfect in giving Daw'ah, but it hurts to see some individuals take it to the next level of hate and what appears to be jealousy and forget the real purpose of what conveying a proper message is meant to be.

I'd love to hear your views on this topic. Please post in the comments section below! :)


good article but bad editing

Mash'alLah! All good points & in sha alLah, respectfully offer my service as an editor.

Islam preaches positivity, as positivity breeds logic and awareness,
which helps an individual find sense and morality and ultimately the
Truth. Which these haram police, quite clearly know, is Islam. So being a
brassy hypocrite and driving people away from the truth is not the
right way and I hope their excuse isn't Daw'ah.
MashaAllah u summed it all! Engaging in a complete continuous and consistently  positive attitude by controlling my thoughts and stopping the flow of negative thoughts are one of the best things that I ever done to increase my Imen!!! Forgive cause Allah will reward you immensly for it (i mean it: visualize yourself forgiving and expecting Allah's reward!) , do goods did as soon as they come on your way do not postpone them for when your feeling better  or feel like it or less busy ..good actions fisabillillah can not wait cause the rewards is instantly too: feeling awesome and having the right to hope for Allah's mercy and forgiveness if He accords it to us ); visiting a sick sister (she does not need to be on a ventilator or something really...but when she feels down and need a ear to listen and word to comfort  her with the remembrance of Allah ...this is all it takes ;) , give a gift to a sister who had a baby even though you do not know her and she is not from your gangs of sisters pals ....etc...
positive attitude bring awareness to our surrounding our own thoughts and feelings , improves reasoning and creativity ,inner strength and peace of mind because you have the certainty that you are a slave of Allah and you will be judged for your thoughts and actions ...
so let them be the best you can by unloading you gar-baggage of negatives thoughts  anger resentments jalousy envy sadness and open your mind and your heart to the bounties of Allah by following the Sunnah give forgive and love with the invocation that Allah will give u forgive u and love u in return ..... and Allah never disappoints!

Salam alaikum, I was invited to a muslim families home along with other
sister's from our masjid. We had a visiting speaker, so they had set up a dinner for all. The Shaykh had performed my shahadah. After the dinner
most of the congregation left. I had my christian Mother with me. I wanted to introduce her to the others in Faith. All was very welcoming
and I felt as one of the community. My problem arose after; there where 3 other sister's my Mother and myself. One of the sister's rose from her seat and went to set next to the hostess of the home. At that time, she turned her back to my Mother and proceeded to gossip. I did'nt care of the gossip. I was so sorry for my Mother. I felt it quite rude that this happened. I wanted to take my Mother and depart, unfortunately I didn't know where to go. I had followed the caravan to the residence. The good part about this, my Mother even though she felt the same stated;"There's one in every crowd." I still didn't want my Mother to be treated in this way. I did however thank Allah(swt) that my Mother still respects my Faith. Irregardless of one persons actions that were  not the way of Islam.
                      Walaikum salam wr wb  

Sadly, often when people are "advised" they turn on the one giving advice (even if it is valid) and critisize that they don't know how to give proper naseehah and who are they to talk, etc. Ego is a huge impedement for good iman. Islam came to perfect our manners. It is heart wrenching to see us treat eachother with such contempt and rudeness. It truely breaks my heart. And what's more, it is so very common to see such behavior. May Allah SWT guide us to accept what is good and leave what is not.

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