Mar 18, 2011

The Perfect Gift

By Umm Amin

Bismillahi Arrahmanirrahiim

Light lavender lilacs swayed overhead as I brought my daughter home that May. Bringing home our family’s first daughter marked the start of a special change. I wondered and dreamed...Will I be able to teach her everything she needs to know to be a good Muslimah? How will she experience the world? How will the world perceive her as she blossoms into a child and later a woman?

Later that summer the lilac blooms gave way to flat, outstretched green leaves. The remnants of the fragrant flowers lingered in my memory as we enjoyed the shade of the remaining leaves that shaded us – she in the jogger and me running. The lilac leaves yellowed, browned, and fell as we crisply brushed pass. One winter morning my daughter sat up ,peeked out and kicked her feet in delight – in the forest path ahead we spotted a fellow mother-daughter duo enjoying the foliage of the winter ferns and moss draped trees. We were startled as the mother reproachfully guarded her toddler behind her and censured me for wearing such an “oppressive thing” on my head. SubHan Allah wa ta alaa. Despite this event I have taught My daughter the sheer elegance in the truth of Islam and the merits of hijab. As my daughter has adventured into girlhood, she is confident in the beauty of her hijab – whether she is writing a short essay or practicing her karate!

Much like the passing of the seasons and the changing of the lilacs, our lives pass by quickly. Your children sprout up before your very eyes, and the clasp of a daughter’s hand in yours becomes a brief caress like if you bent down to dip your hands in a clear brook or stream – even the coolness and moisture left behind evaporates swiftly. Have you spent enough time in teaching your daughter all you want and need to share with her? Have you prepared her to stand firm and confident?

Motherhood entails the most precious gift you have to offer – your time, energy, knowledge and love. Your child’s mind is open and ready to learn. Initially ,we think of developmental feats – like when our little one crawls or pinches items in her fingers. From toddling and sputtering cute words emerges story telling and reading. Your child is a sponge that absorbs all you say and do, observing your mannerisms and copying the way you convey yourself. As our children grow by leaps and bounds, they become school aged and then young adults insha’Allah. You child’s number one teacher is their parents, so it is imperative to be conscious of your habits which they will emulate.

It’s essential to take the time to implant the seeds of Islam in the hearts of our children while they are young, nurture them in their youth, and then support them to stand strong like trees. This reminds me of an ayat from the Qur’aan, “Have you not considered how Allah presents an example,[making] a good word like a good tree, whose root is firmly fixed and its branches [high] in the sky? It produces its fruit all the time, by the permission of its Lord. And Allah presents examples for the people that perhaps they will be reminded.” (Surat al Ibraheem, ayah 24-25)

As a mother, you are your child’s best example and can support her as she flourishes into a young adult. Even if you have responsibilities outside the home, make daily and weekly goals to spend time with your daughter and nurture her as the Muslimah she’s growing up to be. Simple tasks like helping others, preparing a special meal or reciting Qur’aan together can become cherished moments and opportunities to teach Islamic ideals. May Allah help us take advantage of one of the most precious gifts of motherhood we have in order to impart the essence of Islam to our children– our time, energy, knowledge, and love, alHamdulilah.

I'd love to hear your views on this article. Please tell me in the comments section below :)


MashaAllah very well written and so true!

As parents sometimes we forget our actions, vocabulary, mannerism; or lack there of scream louder than how we tell or expect our children to behave.

We also need to remember they do grow very quickly and as much of a blessing they are some people don't get to experience it. We need to remember that as well and give them their rights.

I loved this article, and loved how you incorporated Islam into it.

Loved this article! thanks for the wonderful reminders! InshaAllah I can't wait to have my baby, it's exciting to be a mother.

Each word of this article is so very true....I truly and firmly believe that as a mother,we always will remain the first role model of our children and hence need to keep a check on all our actions and that we as parents should provide a strong and a firm base to our childrens' islamic education....Neverthless your article has been a great reminder and it reaffirmed my beliefs and my long term goals which InshAllah I will achieve and make my 2 beautiful little daughters to grow into good Muslimahs..Ameen.

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